Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Won't You Come Back Home?

I would like to state, for the record, that I do not support Wigan Athletic. I just work for them.

I was all ready to post some big moan about some guy (who's an idiot) in typical cryptic blogger style. But after being locked out of blogger for three days (why d'you do that to me huh?) I find myself just happy to be back.

And it's not just that. I learned that happiness is sort of pre-disposed today. Some people are naturally happier than others. The past year I've been happiest I've been since I was a kid. Yep, there've been some ups and downs, but I'm ready to get back to being happy again.

Some things I smiled about this week:

- I saw my friend George outside Hindley train station (last place I expected to see him)
- I'm making friends on twitter. Nice friends.
- My boss (who hates me) told me he didn't want to lose me.
- The new Kings of Leon album
- My pretty new Steampunk coat arrived. It is GORGEOUS.
- I made fun of my boss (the one that likes me) and made him and my co-workers laugh
- This video


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

All These Whispers And Promises, All The Hints And The Solid Plans

I don't know why I like taking pictures of myself and sticking them in my blog. I swear I'm not that narcissistic.

Two funerals in two weeks. All I can think about is death and all my thoughts relating to it really do me no good. We were all there today. And that's all we could do - be there and love one another. There's nothing to be said, nothing to be done.

Just be there.

That's what the last two weeks have taught me.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

You Wanted The World, You Wanted It All

Twilight Chocolate! All the way from London. Please forgive my dismal appearance, I'm still recovering from a long week.

Friday, October 15, 2010

We Never Had A Heart To Heart, But You Still Call Me Up After Dark

This pretty much sums up last night. A night, of which I had low expectations, turned out pretty sweet. For the most part. Things got a little rough when we thought Vic was gonna get taken to hospital. But then she barfed all over the pavement (and poor Dan and Louise) and all was well!!!

Pah, it's been such a shit week. It was good to put aside all the sadness for just a few hours and have some mindless fun. And there were cookies. The cookies have softened me up. Oxford, you're alright.
As for my anger experiment, it's gone pretty good. But I've discovered that I'd rather be really pissed off than just sad. Sadness makes you empty, lethargic and just plain boring. The whole world turns the colour of porridge. I'd rather paint the town red and reap the consequences.

That being said, HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIC!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Stop that, quit! - All that, quit! Who ruined it? You did!

No anger today. Just a funeral. And, oddly, a lot of Deftones.

Funeral gave me a lot of 'what if's to dwell on (none of which are remotely productive, so I won't share them). Now I just feel really tired, like all the get up and go has been drained from me.

S'been a weird day. But I'm two days down, anger free.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Your Best Bet Is To Stay Away Motherfucker, It's Just ONE OF THOSE DAYS

I'm an angry person.

I have 'Break Stuff' days. Generally at least one a week. And that's a pretty good week for me. I like being angry. It's who I am. There's something so satisfying about getting seriously pissed off. Like finally scratching an itch you've been struggling to reach.

Does it shock you that I'm listening to Limp Bizkit as I type this? Almost like passive anger! I need one last hit before I say what I'm about to! I'm sucking in the swear words like licking cocaine off the paws of a cat.

So I had this idea that I would try to go a whole week without getting angry.

*Pause for laughter*

I'm being told all the time that anger is not constructive. Consider me an anger junkie trying to go cold turkey to see if I can do it. And maybe even to see if life is better/easier without anger (yeah, right).

Lets face it, I'm probably going to fail. Just to give you an idea of how little it takes to make me angry, I got pissed off a few hours ago because no one wanted apple pie and custard. For real. In reality someone I kind of like is probably gonna get booted off X Factor tomorrow night and I'll just see fucking red and it'll be all over with.

But maybe I won't.

Just gonna take one more passive anger hit and then... THE EXPERIMENT BEGINS!!!

Monday, October 04, 2010

I'd Prefer To Be Remembered As A Smiling Face, Not This Fucking Wreck Thats Taken It's Place

I feel like such a fraud.

I have all these grown-up responsibilities. I pay taxes. I'm in a union. I book hotel rooms. I pay rent.

But inside, I still feel exactly the same as I did when I was fifteen. I love Twilight. I waste hours on video games. I get nervous when I ask for an alcoholic beverage (I know, right?). I stay up too late.

Every step I take, I feel as though I'm lying to everyone. Like a little girl dressed up in my big sister's clothes. And I guess that's the problem, I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to. I'm putting on a good show. I just don't believe it myself.

Am I the only person that feels this way?

Sunday, October 03, 2010

You Spent The Evenin Unpacking Books From Boxes

Don't hate me.

I'm debating what I want for Christmas. I've got a lot of gift giving events to think about right now. Which I love. I'm a big lover of spending money and searching for the perfect present. Although lately it's ocurred to me that giving of your time is a much bigger sacrifice than giving of your money. Time isn't something I can spare right now.

Back to the point. My parents give me a Christmas budget each year for a present. My Grandmother will generally add to this. So I have a price range. And I've been toying with the idea of getting a kindle.

Digital books are a much slower revolution than digital music and a lot of purists find the idea of electronic books abhorrent. I'm on the fence. But a kindle would make perfect sense for my commutes. I'm practically eating books right now and carrying them around/waiting for them to arrive/storing them once they've been read is becoming something of a headache.

I don't consider electronic books to be a moral debate. Publishing houses are still getting the same return without the cost of printing. And I don't wanna be one of those people who refuses to let go of the past.

But books aren't like CDs, or even vinyl. There's a certain romanticism to being sat in a park/on a train/curled up in bed with a good book.

Ohhhhhhhhh, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!