You. Yes, you; with the headphones and laptop. I saw you. When the train pulled in you plonked your fat ass right in front of the doors. Don't you realise that people need to get off the train before you can get on? Do you even realise that other people exist?
No, perhaps that's why you shoulder barged the train driver in your hurry to get on the train and plonk your HUMONGOUS ARSE on a seat.
You're a dickhead. No one thinks you're cool just because you're watching a DVD while you commute. It's Sherlock Holmes for fucks' sake. Robert Downey Jnr has not been cool since... well, ever.
Just like you.
Someone who knows proper train ettiquette