Monday, November 30, 2009

"Oh Karen, stop kidding yourself."

"Karen, you have to be the best at everything. Haven't you figured that out by now? You want to be everyone's best friend. Everyone's favourite. So stop kidding yourself and acting like you don't care, cause the truth is that not being the best is killing you."

I never realised I was such a teacher's pet.

But I suppose it makes sense now that I think about it. It would explain my ridiculous jealousy issues (I said explain, not excuse). And my strange need to please people.

It felt like being poked in the centre of a bruise I didn't know I had. He hit the nail on the head completely, but I didn't even realise there was a nail to be hit.

What terrifies me most is how effortlessly he saw this major character flaw. Almost as if my life was a problem I'd been struggling with for it's entirety and he just came along and explained it all away in minutes. Either he is incredibly perceptive (which isn't altogether impossible), or he knows me (which is altogether much more frightening).

I mean, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

(We didn't end up seeing New Moon today. But we'll see it tomorrow, because being a social leper is seriously getting old.)

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