Monday, November 30, 2009

"Oh Karen, stop kidding yourself."

"Karen, you have to be the best at everything. Haven't you figured that out by now? You want to be everyone's best friend. Everyone's favourite. So stop kidding yourself and acting like you don't care, cause the truth is that not being the best is killing you."

I never realised I was such a teacher's pet.

But I suppose it makes sense now that I think about it. It would explain my ridiculous jealousy issues (I said explain, not excuse). And my strange need to please people.

It felt like being poked in the centre of a bruise I didn't know I had. He hit the nail on the head completely, but I didn't even realise there was a nail to be hit.

What terrifies me most is how effortlessly he saw this major character flaw. Almost as if my life was a problem I'd been struggling with for it's entirety and he just came along and explained it all away in minutes. Either he is incredibly perceptive (which isn't altogether impossible), or he knows me (which is altogether much more frightening).

I mean, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

(We didn't end up seeing New Moon today. But we'll see it tomorrow, because being a social leper is seriously getting old.)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

End Credits

I've had an idea for December blogging! I'm excited about it since lately I've had very little to tell you.

Well, not nothing.

The midnight showing of New Moon was incredible. 3 screens sold out! Like I've said before, it was really cool listening to everyone react at the same moments. The film itself was great too, but, as New Moon is my least favourite of the four books, I was never going to love it more than Twilight. Kristen Stewart's acting improved by leaps and bounds, however, to which I can only say thank God.

Primark gets less and less fun as Christmas draws closer (just over 3 weeks to go, yippee!). Manchester itself has been invaded! The contrast between strolling through the arndale at 8am on my way to work and then battling my way through at 12 to get to the station... it's very disorientating.

I must admit that I am struggling with a certain Christmas present. I hope this is due to a lack of looking and not a lack of inspiration. I get a (hopefully) large paycheck on Friday so I can then start my Christmas shopping. Woot!

All this talk of 2010 by the music snobs has got me practically salivating over the new year! A confirmed third Mystery Jets album? Fyfe Dangerfields' solo effort in January? Maybe even a new Autolux or Archie Bronson Outfit new album?

Anyone else fancy fast-forwarding to January?

Lately though I simply can't get enough of this tune. Click it, I guarantee you'll be surprised.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Break Stuff


I had my first mean customer today. I've been at Primark for just over two weeks now. When I first started I expected to deal with loads of rude customers. The induction most certainly prepared us for such scenarios. I've heard the girls on the tills deal with a lot of arseholes. But I've encountered no-one but civil, often nice, customers. In fact, I was helping the sweetest little dude shop for his wife today! I'd help that guy any day of the week, he was so sweet and cheerful! Even the people I couldn't help have always been civil.

Until today.

Anyway, this woman marches up to me.

"Footless tights!" She barks, as though I'm an imbecile.

I blink, quickly composing myself. "We don't have any here, our main hoisery department is over-"

"I've been there. They didn't have them. I've seen someone walking round with some!"

"Well," I explain, patiently, "we do have various racks of tights dotted around this floor."

Here she gave her friend a look.

"Yeah, but I need you to go look for them. That is your job."

Here she rolls her eyes and her friend shakes her head, looking at me as though I dropped off her shoe.

So off I toddle (frankly in a bit of a daze) to the main tights department. You know, the place I originally directed her to, the place she'd so fucking called been. I asked one of my helpful colleagues and she pointed to a fucking massive sign that read, you guessed it,


For fucks' sake.

So I race back to my department (no easy feat, the tights are on the opposite side of the store from us) and the horse-faced bitch had gone!

*Deep soothing breath*

I'm not allowed to talk back to customers. Under any circumstances. And I wouldn't, because it causes a lot of shit for your superviser (and my superviser today, Hao, is so sweet and nice). But as I stood there, silently fuming, I had an Ed Byrne moment and couldn't help fantasising about what I wished I could have said.

HORSE-FACED BITCH: That is your job.
ME: Look bitch, there can be upwards of 1,500 customers in this store at any given time. I may only work here four hours a day, but everyone else here works extremely hard and therefore deserve to be treated with some respect. And as for your fucking tights, why don't you go use your eyes and look where I told you? I located them within twenty seconds, but then I did go to University. It may take a PLEB like you a little longer.

It's people like the bitch today that make me feel even more strongly about being nice to people who work in shops. You may assume their job is easy. I guarantee it isn't.

The others all consoled me over the incident. I could tell they all had similar tales of their own. And I'm sure she won't be the last.

But I'll always remember her as the first.

"You haven’t changed at all." - Emmett Cullen

"Emmett, Edward’s playful bear of a brother, I did miss. He was in many ways just like the big brother I’d always wanted… only much, much more terrifying."

Oh Emmett, I've missed you too! Today we are reunited (albeit briefly). You could whup the Volturi's ass!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Number 12?

You may all think I've forgotten about my list. Or given up on it.

Well, it may have taken a slight backseat, but I'm not giving up :)

Number 12 - See The Sunrise 5 Consecutive Mornings

I've become way too friendly with the sunrise lately. I leave the house before 7am to get to Primark on time. So I get to see the sunrise every morning. And it is beautiful. But maybe not worth getting up that early.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

On Parole

After being on the go for the past week, it feels unnatural to sit back and stop. To have nowhere to go, no one to see. Of course, this week is busy too. I have plenty work and NEW MOON COMES OUT IN 4 DAYS!


Yesterday was Markie's birthday. Toni, Dan and I got to hang out with him in Manchester on Wednesday and, I'm ashamed to say, some of us got shamefully tipsy.

And then last night Kyle kindly ferried me and Toni to Blackpool to see Ed Byrne, who was ridiculously funny and charming. The kind of night that makes you wonder, "why don't I do this more often?"

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Some things never change.

I hate the environment.
I hate animals.
I hate plants.

I love disease.

Who am I?

Monday, November 09, 2009

Basic, Stretch, Long-Sleeve, Roll Neck - um, miss, can you tell me where the tights are?

I still don't know where the tights are.

I get asked about five times a day and each time I point very vaguely and feel guilty for the next twenty seconds. However, I do know the answers to many more futile questions!

Menswear? In the basement.
Knitwear? Just behind us.
Long-sleeve stretchy? The table at the bottom.
Customer services? Just upstairs.

It's the slightly stranger questions that keep my day interesting though. I get asked my opinion of garments quite often. Which is sweet but, well, weird since I'm considered fashion impaired and therefore never get asked my opinion.

So if you're in the city, drop by and see me (I work at the busiest entrance, can you guess which one that is?) but please, don't ask my manager where I am :)

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Karen Saves The World

One long-sleeved t-shirt at a time.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Arguing (With Myself)

It is pride that keeps me from reaching out to everyone right now. I keep telling myself that I am always the one doing it, always the one making the effort, always the one missing out.

So I sit tight and wait.

And nothing gets done. But the truth of it is, this could be due to one of several possibilities:

1) You are too busy
2) You are too skint
3) You are ill
4) You simply haven't thought about it

But when it hits me how many days have passed without a call/text/any news whatsoever, I begin to suspect:

1) You don't want to see me
2) You are mad at me
3) You don't care

And it's been so long that I can't be sure whether this is just paranoia or rational thought. But it occurs to me that you certainly have no excuse for not knowing what's going on with me! For God's sake, I could be in hospital/in love/in a FUCKING COMA and you wouldn't know.

Well it's too late now. For the next two months, I've no time. And you should know why that is. But you don't care, so I can't be fucking bothered to tell you.