Thursday, August 27, 2009


I'm sitting around waiting for Skinny. My clothes are packed, my hair is clean and I'm feeling that twist of excitement in my gut.

I guess that I was totally unprepared for this years Leeds. I haven't done a lot of music reference, or bought new clothes or even burned a mix disc for the journey down. But maybe something can be ruined by over-preparation.

I had big expectations for last years' Leeds and they were dashed. I've learnt my lesson. The only thing I have expectations of is Frank Turner's set (but I had those last year and they were met, hats off to you sir!).

Wish me sunny skies and well cooked burgers!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

My Beautiful Family

I don't censor my blog, but I tend to ommit my family. Maybe for their protection, I guess, or just because they are mine.

We went to my cuz's wedding yesterday and the Ellisons all cleaned up rather nicely. It wasn't the most eventful wedding, but it was a good reminder of how special my family are. We aren't in an out of each others lives loads, but we all have a pretty good measure of each other. And there's love. Not the obvious kind, but it's there in abundance if you look hard enough. Sometimes you just happen to glance it in the simplest of gestures.

Family are so precious.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Edible Glitter

I have returned to you my darlings.

A little redder, a little happier, a little poorer and a little more talkative.

What is is that Juno says? "I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while." I'm feeling this sentiment right now. I've got a few days to recover, promise my boss I'm only going away for one more weekend I swear, see my cuz get married tomorrow and pray, pray, pray that my Reuben package will arrive before the ultimate highlight of my year LEEDS FEST!!!

So Scarborough... well it was eventful to say the least. It's easy to forget how you love the wind in your hair and the sand under your feet. I met some lovely people, had one of the most incredible nights of my life, ate the best cupcakes I've ever tasted and probed and prodded Queen G into unleashing some info on my beloved Grandpa.

I couldn't stop listening to Bon Iver either. How weird is that? He must be beach music.

But I come back and everyone's been posting scary things!!!

Number 7 - Make An Effort to be More Honest

I won't bore you with the details. Needless to say I sent some letters whilst I was away. And it was really scary cause once you drop that damn letter in the postbox it's gone and there is no way to snatch back the words you've just wrote.


Just some advice - letters are a strange method of communication. But I like them because whoever you're writing to can't interrupt you and you have all the time in the world to think of the perfect way to phrase what you're trying to say. If you ever have something difficult to say I'd certainly reccommend them.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


I met Karen when she was 17 (isn't this a very guest blogger-y story to tell?). My best friend Tom worked with her for about a month (if you know Tom you know he isn't cut out for manual labour) and she, in his words, 'carried him' throughout his duration at the stadium.

Karen had mentioned to Tom a growing interest in Anime. And I just happen to be an Anime Aficionado. If you can name it, I've seen it. Tom naturally gave her my email and there we have it. 4 years later and we're still emailing back and forth to discuss the latest seasons (anime is like tv, each season new/brand new series are released. We have to wait a little longer for the subs though).

So Karen mentioned before going that I should post something about my anime preferences. Apparently this is going to drive someone, and I quote, "insane cause she won't be able to mock you".

In the spirit of fun - I love anime where people are obsessed with eating. For some reason in anime food tends to make all problems go away. Anime set in schools is fun. Reverse harem (lots of guys chasing one girl) anime is indefinitely my favourite, though it can get rather tedious. Animes with talking animals for no apparent reason (ahem Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pichi) freak me out.

But I have to say the best anime ever is slice of life.

I do hope this post had the desired effect.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


I gotta call from Karen last night. She was talking really fast. She said she'd eaten a lot of prawns (?) took her Grandmother on a simulator (!) and only seen one good looking boy (3 guesses who).

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Women That Are Way Overrated

I guess it wouldn't be very gay-friend of me not to do a post about women. You know the first thing a boy generally does when he finds out you're a lesbian?

"If you could have a threeway with anyone out of Hollyoaks/Charmed/Buffy who would you pick?"
You think I'm exaggerating. Really. And the only famous people I'd ever want a threeway with would be Blair and Serena from Gossip Girl. I mean, can you imagine? Blair would be freaking out that I preferred Serena and then Serena would have to take a backseat (metaphorically) so that I gave Blair more attention!

Ahem. My Gossip Girl fantasies aside, I think it's important to set a few things straight (erm lol). Just because I'm gay does NOT mean I fancy every woman in the world. I actually think a lot of women are kind of overrated.
Would you be attracted to that? She looks like zombie MJ in thriller!Ew. She has the skin of a 90 year old.I like individuality but she's just trying too hard to be noticed. You know when you're on the train and you see someone that really stands out and has their own unique style. Then you see a freak dressed in a bin bag? Hello Lady Bin Bag.

And don't even get me started on this bitch.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Code Words

You know you're an outside amongst a group of old, old friends when one of them says something that sounds completely out of context and everyone else bursts out laughing.

"And I was like ohmygod stiletto!"


We all do it. We all have silly phrases/words/noises/actions that are deeply context-based and were, at the time, hilarious/memorable/ridiculous. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. But maybe you should think about how they might make an outsider feel - exactly that, an outsider.

Not that I'm speaking from experience. Not at all.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Guest Blogging

Hello readers of Karen's Blog! I am Alee and I've been allowed to guest blog. I say allowed since I almost had to beg. Karen was all ready to schedule some posts or find an internet cafe while she's in Yorkshire for the week.

Can I just say that it wasn't easy to get this gig?

If you know Karen this probably won't surprise you, but she made me agree to follow a set of rules - RULES FOR GUEST BLOGGING!

I found these rules quite funny and thought they said a lot about her.

1. Use capital letters, correct grammar and always spellcheck

This one I didn't mind. Considering I do English Literature at University, I should use better English on my own blog. But I always write it in a hurry.

2. No posts about vibrators

Ah. If you've read my blog you'll know I enjoy looking for vibrators masquerading as "massagers". But I'll save those treats for my blog then.

3. Do talk about Twilight

As if she could stop me!

4. Don't talk about music


5. My readers do not want to hear about the following: your pubic hair, your sex life, your fetishes or sexual exploits.

Really? I've got some pretty good stories about my pubes, sex life and kinky whims. Your loss.

6. And finally: no embarrassing stories.

Oh tosh. What the hell am I supposed to write about then?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Queen G

Tomorrow I go to Scarborough with my Grandma (who is fondly known on here as Queen G). This may seem strange to many of you and, though I often do strange things, I suppose I should explain.

I only have one Grandparent left. Queen G is my Dad's Mother, therefore she only has me and Rob as far as Grandchildren go. So she relishes us. Since she never had a daughter herself she's always found me to be a bit of a mystery. When I was little I was what my Dad called "easily pleased" which was really no surprise after the attention demmander that is my older brother.

Grandma is basically part of my family unit. So she used to come on all the family holidays with us. But when Rob and I got too old for family holidays and my folks started going abroad to sun themselves, Grandma had no one to go on holiday with. I think it's about 9 years since she last properly went away. So when she asked me to go with her I would never have refused.

People aren't here forever. It's important to me that I know my Grandmother before she goes anywhere. If you don't know where you come from, how can you know who you're gonna be? It's one of those things that I always know I'd regret if I didn't. Besides, it's incredibly rewarding being the person that's there for someone who doesn't have a lot of people to rely on.

Plus seriously, have you ever eaten prawns in Scarborough? Or walked down Robin Hood's Bay? Scarborough seriously kicks ass.

I wish I lived there.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Every time Manchester Academy update their website I am just more and more tempted by gigs. So I've (rather effortlessly) met my 8 gig target and right now I have 2 (possibly 3 after tomorrow) gigs to look forward to. That's enough.

Only it isn't. It's been a month since my last gig and I can already feel the itch. Of course, Leeds is certainly a cure for the itch (yo Urky, Tim Minchin is headlining the alternative stage!) but now that I have so many options gigwise and it's way too easy to get there I just find myself... salivating, metaphorically.

So anyway, my friend Alee over at Tales of The Virgin is going to be guest blogging whilst I'm in Scarborough. I'm sure she'll have some... insightful things to tell you.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009


You break up with the love of your life. Totally didn't see it coming. You loved him. You felt sure he loved you.

You take refuge in your bedroom. Food doesn't taste the same, music doesn't sound as good. Nothing can replace him.

The months go by. You're living in denial, waiting for him to call, beg you to take him back. All's forgiven, the words are on your lips. Surely he'll call soon? Once he realises what he's missing. He's gonna call.

More months. You've been flirting with this totally smoking folk singer. He's adorable and you can kid yourself sometimes into believing you love him as much as you loved him. Your friends think this is it, the real deal. But late at night, you still dream of the one. No one's ever going to replace him.

The folk singer is hot. You take trips with him. You're happy. But still, the one is never completely gone. You still think of him. Wonder why it didn't work out. Why didn't you make more of an effort? Why didn't you show him how much you loved him? Could you have done more?

Could you have made him stay?
Little more than a year goes by. You and the folk singer are cosied up. You've heard things about the one, but not seen him since that day. An old friend calls...

The one. He's back in town. He's looking for you.

Vic gets mad when people post cryptic blogs. This might seem a little mellow dramatic to you guys and most of you won't believe me when I tell you this is exactly how I felt when Reuben disbanded. It felt as if my heart had been stomped on by a sumo wrestler.

For months, listening to music felt like taking bitter medicine. I needed it, but it didn't go down easy. And I kept waiting for it to all be a joke. Waiting for news. Anything.

I love Frank Turner, really, I do. And in time it felt like I was missing Reuben less. But no one can replace your first love. It was love. I loved them. More than anyone.

Now there's news. And it feels like my musical heart is beating again.

Good God I missed them. So, so much.

And we're- I mean, they're not getting back together. I knew better than to hope for that. But there is hope that we can be... friends.

You guys have no idea. My worries, my problems, my bitterness... feels like it's all floating away.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Mercury Farce

I used to have a lot of respect for the Mercury Prize committee. No more my friends, no more.

Have you SEEN the nominations this year?:

Florence and the Machine
Bat for Lashes
La Roux
Speech Debelle
Friendly Fires
The Horrors
Lisa Hannigan
The Invisible

Led Bib
Sweet Billy Pilgrim

Ew, ew, EW! I mean, La Roux. Seriously? Glasvegas - meh. Glasvegas are like Manic Street Preachers - but rubbish. And how, how has Emmy The Great not made the list? People have been intensely bumming her album. Out of those 12, there's only 4 I like. But I hate it when the Mercury Prize goes to a big, well-established band cause they don't need the cash. So I won't be keeping my fingers crossed for Kasabian, even though their latest album is a masterpiece.

Personally, I'm hoping for Friendly Fires, Sweet Billy Pilgrim or The Horrors. But you could have guessed that right?

The ones you might not have heard of: well, Sweet Billy Pilgrim are good. Their album is short and sweet, kind of like what Bon Iver might produce when he's in a good mood. Led Bib are a jazz group. Lisa Hannigan is a singer/songwriter from Dublin and, though her songs aren't bad, she's no Emmy. The Invisible are difficult to pigeonhole, apparently they're playing Leeds Fest so I might check them out. Oh, and don't bother with Speech Debelle. Trust me.

Pffft, I knew it was going downhill the year Guillemots were robbed.

Sunday, August 02, 2009


Right, I need to issue some sort of formal statement because my hand is aching from replying to texts and emails:

I never was and, after this, I certainly never shall be.

So why are certain people getting friend requests from "me"? I have no idea. And honestly, it's really creeping me out. What's weird is, certain people on my inner circle (Skinny, Vic etc) have had friend requests from me, but my workmates (Kylie, Marie, Neil etc) haven't and neither have my uni friends (Rhys, Alan, Roch etc).

So what may I deduce from this? The person who has done this clearly knows me and has some knowledge of my friends. But not a very good knowledge. What's weird is they sent a request to Ange. I love Ange and everything but she's not the first person I'd think of (though it did make Ange get in touch and it was nice catching up with her). Like my newer friends don't know Ange. Or my workmates. Weird, huh?

Either way, it's really, really pissed me off. I'm kind of ridiculously upset by the whole thing. Anyone who knows me knows my firm stance on Facebook, as in I'm clearly in the hater section. And surely this just totally turns me further off the idea of ever wanting to be a part of it.

So whatever. Don't add the imposter.