Sunday, July 05, 2009

Self-Righteous Facist Dick


There's one thing that I know I'm good at. And lately I've had doubts whether I actually am as good at it as I thought.

People have this ability to knock you down. And the worst part is that most of the time they never realise how they've hurt you. When I have a bad night at work, I think about all the things I'd say if I were to quit right then. But I can't quit. When you have big plans you need hard work to fuel them.

So I just keep going.

I am excited about all the wonderful things waiting for me this summer... but it's all tainted. By failure. Uncertainty. Impending loneliness.

I've been writing. I think it's really good, for once. I'm doing the write what you know thing, even though I don't believe that. And someone keeps bugging me about guest blogging next week. Maybe a week of silence is what this space needs.

I do apologise. I generally hate when people write self-pitying posts. Am I self-pitying? Or stoic? Or just scared shitless?

It kind of says it all that I don't know.

2 comments:

VAI2008 said...

NEARLY 2 DAYS TO FRANCE!!! BOOYEAAAHHH!

cath_skinny said...

What's up love? Hope you're ok. Managed to get on the internet by going to an apple store. Majorly excited about the Jack's Mannequin gig. I'll have to leave the week away with CU exec to get to it but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. By the way, one of the girls on exec loves them too. I haven't asked her yet but if she was interested in going could you get another ticket for her? It seems cruel me going to the gig by myself when I could drive her too if she wanted to go.

Enjoy France. Love you lots xxx