Friday, June 12, 2009

A List of Things Everyone Else Seems to Love That I Can’t Help But Hate

I must give credit to Alanna for this idea. I don't agree with some of the things on her list (Twilight?! Lolcatz?!) but I love the idea since moaning is almost an Olympic sport for us English:

Facebook: Oh Facebook how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways - actually, there just isn't enough time in the day for that.

La Roux/Katy Perry/Lady Gaga/Generic Godawful Girl Noise: All of these ladies are very pretty. However, they are not talented. They're actually really annoying. And their... well, the noise they produce (if they actually even do produce it) is like eating toffee rock - it's sticky, it's sickly, it's bad for you, it's stamped with a product name and it gets old very quickly.

Christiano Ronaldo: NEWSFLASH: NO ONE CARES! NOT EVEN THE MANCS! NO ONE CARES!

Big Brother: Does this actually count? I don't know anyone who is still watching. Apparently we only have two more years to put up with it. Two years too many in my opinion.

The BNP: If I saw Nick Griffin would I chuck an egg at him? Uh yes. I voted so I have the right to slag him off :)

Belts with dresses: WTF? I am no fashionista (no shit) but whoever thought this one up must be taken out and shot.

Gordon Ramsay: I work with chefs so no one knows better than me that chefs can be real bastards. I mean, this is a generalisation, not all chefs are horrible. However, I have been punished before, not by my own incompetence, but due to a chef's bad mood. Gordon Ramsay just seems to represent all of this. He's horrible! And the fact that women find this attractive... no one may ever criticise my Cullen love whilst Ramsay Love exists.

Greatest Hits: I thought I was getting a new Incubus album (and on my birthday no less!) but no... an Incubus Greatest Hits. There's a couple of new songs and rarities but it's basically a Greatest Hits. Okay, they've earned it. 6 albums warrants a Greatest Hits. I'm just... disappointed.

Train Fiction: Oh you know what I'm referring to. Jodi Picoult, Dan Brown, James Patterson, Ian Rankin... need I go on? My hatred of adult fiction is well-known. My parents hoped I'd grow out of reading teen books... thus far they were wrong. But if train fiction is the alternative? It's not that they're bad books. They're just generic. Like CSI - not a bad show, but always with the same construct.

The Olympics: Saved the biggie till last. I hate the Olympics anyway. It has always seemed to me that people who dislike sport/know very little about sport love the Olympics. God, what a snoozefest. And we've actually paid for the privilege of hosting it! To say that I'm dreading 2012 is an understatement. We should have just bought another world cup. Or built a proper F1 track. Or put more roofs on the Wimbledon courts. Meh.

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