Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
I didn't even flinch at this judgement. I was pale.
Eli, my brother, was already trying to drop me like a hot potato. And who exactly catches hot potatoes, by the way? Even my brother isn't stupid enough to handle a hot vegetable with his bare hands.
"Well your sister's no prize either."
This was the dance. The two of them were circling already. The outcome being that eventually one of them would make the first move. Dignity or bragging rights were at stake, I wasn't sure which.
The tall sister was eating a Popsicle. Her lips ran up and down it's length, her tongue flicking the tip. But she aroused no feeling within me, even with her borderline pornographic eating habits. And Eli was gone, prancing after his prey (or predator, the dance had not yet yielded a victor).
And I was alone at the barbecue with no connection to this place other than the fact my brother had given her brother a blow job last week.
The music was terrible. One of those bands that always turn up on the Father's Day compilation CDs they push at ASDA. The tall sister was flirting with a thick set guy in a rugby shirt. He had moobs, for fucks sake, but she was already all over him, like ice cream dripping down a cone.
I could have walked home. I would have walked home. I even turned to go. But it's the old cliche; the second I turned around I saw her.
The little sister. The younger daughter. The jam on what would otherwise be a dry, stodgy peanut butter sandwich.
You get the picture.
Her feet were bare. I've always had a real thing for the sorts of girls in fantasy novels; necromancers and fae, vampires and witches. The younger daughter was a pixie. Her sundress could have been made of spun silk, her dark hair swallowing the moon whole.
She looked up at me and smiled. At least in my head she did. In reality she was curled up on a garden bench looking fierce and unapproachable. And, heavens be, the girl was listening to an iPod!
It was in that moment I hit a crossroads. Either there was a God and he was rewarding my abstinence (though to be fair it wasn't exactly voluntary) with a soul mate. Or there was a devil and he was dangling what I could never have in front of my very eyes (well, my eyes behind my glasses. If he were dangling it before my eyes it would have just been a colourful blur).
Glass half empty, or half full? Did I approach the girl and risk humiliation, or did I walk away and suffer not knowing?
I didn't make the decision in the end. She did.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
In lay man's terms - what goes up must come down.
But it will go up again. And as much as it sucks right now (and boy does it suck) in time things will get better.
Today has been a horrible day. It started off well and then just took a nosedive. So many disappointments and arguments. But still, I like to think that for every bad day I have, someone has a good one. Just like the circle of prosperity.
I hope it was you.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wrap Me Up In A Blanket,
Hold Me So Tight,
Are you the surgeon or the busker?
It doesn't matter tonight.
I've seen love with my own eyes,
I've seen what it can do
I'm sorry I don't want it,
I just want to feel safe with you.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tonight we are off to see Emmy The Great.
I'll tell you all about the party and the gig and everything when I return.
Donkey Kong is a Quiche.
I can't wait much longer to start reading.
Where will my Milk Tray man go for his coulis now?
Little bit o' code language for ya there.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
I'm so looking forward to the party now though. I think I'm most excited about seeing Vic again. A month suddenly feels like a long time to go without hanging with her. I'm glad that Toni didn't let her sadness stop her celebrating something as monumental as turning 21. I think 21 is a way bigger deal than 18.
Dan and I have made the most incredible parcels for our game (Pass The Parcel, duh). Dan is currently ordaining them with stamps.
So, so, so tired. Blogging tomorrow is gonna be a nightmare. I might have to schedule a post (is that cheating oh gods of Nablopomo?)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Dan and I are having a nature nurture debate. How collegiate!
Dan has just told me that my love of geeks is predisposed.
The train journey here was one of the nicest I've taken.
Funny really, but I'm pretty happy right now. Can you imagine the whole world falling down around me and me just stood there smiling? That's how I feel right now, contented in my self-made chaos.
Maybe sometimes we need to break things to remind ourselves that we're strong enough to fix them too. I'm very good at fixing parties, cakes, iTunes, moods... Maybe people have to fix each other?
Or am I really broken? Perhaps this mess is my natural habitat? And is that so bad?
Argh, I need musical wisdom!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The party is so on people! Toni is back on her party game so expect some wicked fun on Saturday!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Big bowls of cereal...
These are the things that I dream about.
My jeans are baggy and don't fit right anymore. I have a new dress for the party. I flirted with a cute boy in Cafe Nero. People say that losing weight doesn't change you. It's all a load of bullshit. All my life I've glared enviously at skinny people. Sure, they have problems too (like oh no, my diamond studded shoes are too small!) but I hate how they just take it for granted.
For years and years all I wanted was to be thin. But I obviously didn't want it enough.
But this time I just want to be happy. And I'll prove that I want it this time.
Monday, February 16, 2009
I'll fix me.
The word has lost all meaning.
Can the All American Rejects please stop being so awesome? Theirs was the first of the 5 albums I ordered to arrive and it's sooooo sooooo good. Stop narrowing your eyes music snobs, they're a lot deeper than people give them credit for.
Go listen to 'Move Along' if you don't believe me.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Truly, you cannot imagine the pandimonium taking place in this flat.
I had bad dreams last night. I dreamt that Dan called me and he was trying to tell me something awful but he couldn't get the words out. I dreamt that my rabbit escaped and I couldn't catch him.
Listen to 'Omen' by Prodigy and may your life be complete.
Friday, February 13, 2009
HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH!!! This day is way cooler than Valentines. Regardless, I've just gone on Drowned in Sound and they've posted a Valentines Playlist. So in the spirit of keeping things short and sweet, here is my 5-Song Valentines Playlist:
1. Lover - Devendra Banhart (love, love, love this song)
2. Maps - Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs
3. Toothepaste Kisses - The Maccabees
4. I Will Possess Your Heart - Death Cab For Cutie
5. Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You) - Aqualung (yep, a loved up classic in my book)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Is it any good? Well, I'm soon to find out since I ordered that along with a few other (okay 4) little musical gems.
Had my haircut today which I always hate. I'm totally rubbish at coming up with inane chit chat so I always feel super awkward around hairdressers. But the process is a necessary evil when you have long hair. I have this urge to put up a picture, but it's weird posting pics of yourself! Cal's been bugging me to do a video blog too, which is also tempting but weird. I'm frightened of putting myself out there that much. It doesn't matter that hardly anyone is reading (or watching), it's still a big deal to me.
But I am considering a video blog for the finale of Nablopomo...
Speaking of things that make me squirm, we're taking my bunny to the vet in like an hour. I'm not sure who hates the vet more, me or the rabbit. I can't stand how scared he gets whenever we go and the possibility that there might be something wrong. Seriously, my stomach is in knots right now. Added to the normal stress is the fact that we're seeing a different vet than usual! The normal vet is a little incompetent, but rather cute which makes up for the lack of fuzzy animal feelings. What if Fye hates the new vet? What if the new vet is mean? What if the new vet is even cuter???
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
And no, it's not just cause he happens to be hot (though he is very dishy) but he is just so good. He'd make my dream team any day.
I was kept up till past 4am talking about everything under the sun with Skinny (but mainly Nick and Norah's Infinite playlist which she loved too, so there!) and was seriously exhausted this morning. But it was so nice to talk without barriers, to say exactly what I thought for once and not to worry about the consequences. She's very easy to talk to, our Skinny, and I miss her very much.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
Sunday, February 08, 2009
1. I love being in motion. The car, a train, a plane, a tram... I love it.
2. I think Macauley Culkin is really hot.
3. I think I might have two jobs: one that I love and one that I hate. I just never know which I'm gonna show up to.
4. I have an alter-ego. His name is Norman. I stole him from more than one person.
5. I just discovered that green beans aren't so bad.
6. I'm hopelessly addicted to Masterchef.
7. I have made 38 playlists for my iPod.
8. I really love playlists.
9. I am only slightly obsessed with my eyebrows.
10. I CANNOT STAND books for grown-ups. They suck.
11. I keep trying to throw away my virginity. It's heavier than I thought.
12. I've never seen Fight Club.
13. I've lied and pretended to have seen Fight Club, oh, about a million times.
14. I cried through an entire Killers set.
15. I believe in God. I just stopped believing in all the small print.
16. I love my big brother so much. I wish he knew how amazing he is.
17. God, stop going on about how awesome, awesome, awesome 'The Departed' is! I wish we'd watched 'Little Nicky' instead, it would've been better!
18. My friend went to Austria this year. I wasn't prepared for how much I'd miss her.
19. I buy a new ring every year at Leeds Festival.
20. A year ago someone told me I was cool. No one's said it before or since.
21. I eat cheesecake in layers.
22. I didn't stop talking. You stopped listening.
23. I had a poem published when I was seven. It was about Craziness.
24. I'm terrified of swimming.
25. I'm not actually sure what my real voice sounds like. The accents I've picked up have obscured it completely.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
8. Brandon Boyd (Incubus) - Can you believe this guy is nearly 33? He still looks 22 to me. I don't know a girl alive who could resist this guys charms. Plus: his plugs are sooooo dreamy.
5. Jared Leto - Ew, ew, ew, EW! I did not pick him!!!
2. Isaac Hanson - I like Isaac... now... when he was 16... when he had the mohawk(y) do...post hair-cut... with braces... Even Alee agreed that he grew up into a hottie. Plus he has my all-time favourite name (even though, his actual first name is Clarke - bit o' Hanson geek trivia for you there).
Friday, February 06, 2009
Thursday, February 05, 2009
I can safely say it was one of the best things ever. Simple pleasures.