Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Is Awesome!

Karen was a lucky girl this year! She currently has Frank Turner wrapped around her waist, keeping her cosy. Vic cheated on secret santa and brought her The Drums debut album (tut tut genius, but secretly she's chuffed).

She played cards, drank wine, giggled, hugged and now sits sleepily by the fire.

Merry Christmas bloggers!

Love Norman and Karen xxx

Thursday, December 24, 2009

She Came Home For Christmas

I was walking out of work today. The day had been surprisingly quiet. Spirits had been high. There was dancing and cake in the canteen. Chocolate and silly hats on the shop floor. Hugs and pleasant well wishes as I left.

How strange that I loathed the place only 3 weeks ago. I was counting down the shifts. Now it's getting comfy, like a new pair of slippers. Maybe in enough time, I'll love it like I love the stadium. Maybe.

And the possibility is enough for now.

I wonder if I'm happy. And the existence of such a wonder makes me think I might be. I'm tired and busy all the time. I'm writing on the train and trying not to fall asleep. I'm missing my friends and seeing my KPs more than my own family. I'm still skint.

But at the end of the day, I feel so useful. I come home and that's it. No essays or assignments hanging over my head. I can do fuck all if I want.

Eventually things will have to settle down. I'll have to get one full-time job. I'll have to stop spending every spare penny on things I don't need. I'll have to be thinking about getting married, or at least moving out.

But I'm only 21. Eventually will have to wait.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I Cannot Possibly Miss You So Soon

I'm waiting.

Waiting for my gift, all wrapped in silver paper and tied with a red ribbon.

I'm waiting.

Waiting for you to come home to me, with snow in your hair.

I'm waiting.

Till the day I don't need you when things go wrong.

They go wrong all the time.

I'm waiting.

For the day I can escape to your arms again.

I'm waiting.

For the new year.

Sunday, December 20, 2009



If I Was Seventeen Again

I'd be in love.


Isn't that always the way? 4 years too late :(

Still, if I was seventeen again, I don't think I'd be half as interesting to him.

(I'm taking my DAB radio to work tomorrow and shall be listening to the chart show. If only just to hear Rage on the radio.)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sick Day

Yes, I called in sick today.

I'm pretty sure I had a fever last night. Which is strange because I can't remember ever having one before. It was strange. I was in the cinema in a vest, a t-shirt, a hoodie, my coat (complete with hat and scarf) and still cold. Then it's 3am and I'm sweating like a werewolf during an indian summer.

Like I said, weird.

Now I feel great. The day off has done the trick and I almost feel 100% again. So don't worry your heads about little old me.

Hey, holy shit, it's only 8 more days till Crimbo. It may be the work or the illness or just the general bluryness of my life right now, but that definitely snuck up on me. How about you?

And wowee, Killing In The Name is top of the iTunes single chart.

And the albums chart.

Now I'm not about to start getting my hopes up. But that's pretty darn rad. I mean, if nothing else, it has to be number 2. It's so nice to have contributed to something so worthy.

By the way, I think I have news. But nothing is certain right now, so I'm gonna sit on it until the details are ironed out.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Killing In The Name

And now you do what they told ya!

In all honesty, I know that Rage Against The Machine will not beat boring-ass-geordie-Joe to number one. But right now it's number 2 in the iTunes single chart. Which is pretty cool considering it's well over 10 years old!

So I bought it too :)

The cynics may be right about this one. But they do their best to suck the fun out of everything. If we listened to them we'd never leave the house.

So fuck you cynics, I won't do what you tell me!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

UK Crimbo Traditions

- Your family buys a tin of chocolate. Roses or Quality Street.
- The creams in said tin of chocolate get eaten first.
- Your Dad polishes off the caramels that no one wants a week after Christmas.
- Everyone must wear a stupid paper crown from the Christmas Crackers.
- Everyone must read out cracker jokes despite the fact they're always shit.
- Your Mum will get tipsy at some point. Maybe one of your Grandparents too.
- Every single family member that visits will be offered alcohol.
- You'll watch a Christmas special.
- You'll turn over the Snowman.
- The biggest present under the tree is always a disappointment.
- You'll be eating turkey sandwiches for days after Crimbo (I love them)
- You'll receive a card from someone you didn't send one to
- You'll watch an old school but downright awesome film (e.g. Home Alone, Uncle Buck, Cool Runnings)
- Someone will want to watch one of the many versions of a Christmas Carol. Don't let them.
- Your Happy New Year texts will not reach your friends until they're nursing their hangovers the next morning.
- You'll consume something you don't necessarily like (mince pies? christmas pudding? a snowball?) just because it's Christmas
- Your Dad will be in instruction manual heaven
- Someone will put a real damper on the celebrations by complaining about how they worked Christmas Eve/they have to work Boxing Day

If you didn't nod to at least 5 of those, I'm afraid you're not English.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

When The Blood Dries In My Veins

Today started badly. Then got worse.

But you shouldn't give up on a day easily. It ended well, with a little help from my friends.

Monday, November 30, 2009

"Oh Karen, stop kidding yourself."

"Karen, you have to be the best at everything. Haven't you figured that out by now? You want to be everyone's best friend. Everyone's favourite. So stop kidding yourself and acting like you don't care, cause the truth is that not being the best is killing you."

I never realised I was such a teacher's pet.

But I suppose it makes sense now that I think about it. It would explain my ridiculous jealousy issues (I said explain, not excuse). And my strange need to please people.

It felt like being poked in the centre of a bruise I didn't know I had. He hit the nail on the head completely, but I didn't even realise there was a nail to be hit.

What terrifies me most is how effortlessly he saw this major character flaw. Almost as if my life was a problem I'd been struggling with for it's entirety and he just came along and explained it all away in minutes. Either he is incredibly perceptive (which isn't altogether impossible), or he knows me (which is altogether much more frightening).

I mean, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

(We didn't end up seeing New Moon today. But we'll see it tomorrow, because being a social leper is seriously getting old.)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

End Credits

I've had an idea for December blogging! I'm excited about it since lately I've had very little to tell you.

Well, not nothing.

The midnight showing of New Moon was incredible. 3 screens sold out! Like I've said before, it was really cool listening to everyone react at the same moments. The film itself was great too, but, as New Moon is my least favourite of the four books, I was never going to love it more than Twilight. Kristen Stewart's acting improved by leaps and bounds, however, to which I can only say thank God.

Primark gets less and less fun as Christmas draws closer (just over 3 weeks to go, yippee!). Manchester itself has been invaded! The contrast between strolling through the arndale at 8am on my way to work and then battling my way through at 12 to get to the station... it's very disorientating.

I must admit that I am struggling with a certain Christmas present. I hope this is due to a lack of looking and not a lack of inspiration. I get a (hopefully) large paycheck on Friday so I can then start my Christmas shopping. Woot!

All this talk of 2010 by the music snobs has got me practically salivating over the new year! A confirmed third Mystery Jets album? Fyfe Dangerfields' solo effort in January? Maybe even a new Autolux or Archie Bronson Outfit new album?

Anyone else fancy fast-forwarding to January?

Lately though I simply can't get enough of this tune. Click it, I guarantee you'll be surprised.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Break Stuff


I had my first mean customer today. I've been at Primark for just over two weeks now. When I first started I expected to deal with loads of rude customers. The induction most certainly prepared us for such scenarios. I've heard the girls on the tills deal with a lot of arseholes. But I've encountered no-one but civil, often nice, customers. In fact, I was helping the sweetest little dude shop for his wife today! I'd help that guy any day of the week, he was so sweet and cheerful! Even the people I couldn't help have always been civil.

Until today.

Anyway, this woman marches up to me.

"Footless tights!" She barks, as though I'm an imbecile.

I blink, quickly composing myself. "We don't have any here, our main hoisery department is over-"

"I've been there. They didn't have them. I've seen someone walking round with some!"

"Well," I explain, patiently, "we do have various racks of tights dotted around this floor."

Here she gave her friend a look.

"Yeah, but I need you to go look for them. That is your job."

Here she rolls her eyes and her friend shakes her head, looking at me as though I dropped off her shoe.

So off I toddle (frankly in a bit of a daze) to the main tights department. You know, the place I originally directed her to, the place she'd so fucking called been. I asked one of my helpful colleagues and she pointed to a fucking massive sign that read, you guessed it,


For fucks' sake.

So I race back to my department (no easy feat, the tights are on the opposite side of the store from us) and the horse-faced bitch had gone!

*Deep soothing breath*

I'm not allowed to talk back to customers. Under any circumstances. And I wouldn't, because it causes a lot of shit for your superviser (and my superviser today, Hao, is so sweet and nice). But as I stood there, silently fuming, I had an Ed Byrne moment and couldn't help fantasising about what I wished I could have said.

HORSE-FACED BITCH: That is your job.
ME: Look bitch, there can be upwards of 1,500 customers in this store at any given time. I may only work here four hours a day, but everyone else here works extremely hard and therefore deserve to be treated with some respect. And as for your fucking tights, why don't you go use your eyes and look where I told you? I located them within twenty seconds, but then I did go to University. It may take a PLEB like you a little longer.

It's people like the bitch today that make me feel even more strongly about being nice to people who work in shops. You may assume their job is easy. I guarantee it isn't.

The others all consoled me over the incident. I could tell they all had similar tales of their own. And I'm sure she won't be the last.

But I'll always remember her as the first.

"You haven’t changed at all." - Emmett Cullen

"Emmett, Edward’s playful bear of a brother, I did miss. He was in many ways just like the big brother I’d always wanted… only much, much more terrifying."

Oh Emmett, I've missed you too! Today we are reunited (albeit briefly). You could whup the Volturi's ass!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Number 12?

You may all think I've forgotten about my list. Or given up on it.

Well, it may have taken a slight backseat, but I'm not giving up :)

Number 12 - See The Sunrise 5 Consecutive Mornings

I've become way too friendly with the sunrise lately. I leave the house before 7am to get to Primark on time. So I get to see the sunrise every morning. And it is beautiful. But maybe not worth getting up that early.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

On Parole

After being on the go for the past week, it feels unnatural to sit back and stop. To have nowhere to go, no one to see. Of course, this week is busy too. I have plenty work and NEW MOON COMES OUT IN 4 DAYS!


Yesterday was Markie's birthday. Toni, Dan and I got to hang out with him in Manchester on Wednesday and, I'm ashamed to say, some of us got shamefully tipsy.

And then last night Kyle kindly ferried me and Toni to Blackpool to see Ed Byrne, who was ridiculously funny and charming. The kind of night that makes you wonder, "why don't I do this more often?"

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Some things never change.

I hate the environment.
I hate animals.
I hate plants.

I love disease.

Who am I?

Monday, November 09, 2009

Basic, Stretch, Long-Sleeve, Roll Neck - um, miss, can you tell me where the tights are?

I still don't know where the tights are.

I get asked about five times a day and each time I point very vaguely and feel guilty for the next twenty seconds. However, I do know the answers to many more futile questions!

Menswear? In the basement.
Knitwear? Just behind us.
Long-sleeve stretchy? The table at the bottom.
Customer services? Just upstairs.

It's the slightly stranger questions that keep my day interesting though. I get asked my opinion of garments quite often. Which is sweet but, well, weird since I'm considered fashion impaired and therefore never get asked my opinion.

So if you're in the city, drop by and see me (I work at the busiest entrance, can you guess which one that is?) but please, don't ask my manager where I am :)

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Karen Saves The World

One long-sleeved t-shirt at a time.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Arguing (With Myself)

It is pride that keeps me from reaching out to everyone right now. I keep telling myself that I am always the one doing it, always the one making the effort, always the one missing out.

So I sit tight and wait.

And nothing gets done. But the truth of it is, this could be due to one of several possibilities:

1) You are too busy
2) You are too skint
3) You are ill
4) You simply haven't thought about it

But when it hits me how many days have passed without a call/text/any news whatsoever, I begin to suspect:

1) You don't want to see me
2) You are mad at me
3) You don't care

And it's been so long that I can't be sure whether this is just paranoia or rational thought. But it occurs to me that you certainly have no excuse for not knowing what's going on with me! For God's sake, I could be in hospital/in love/in a FUCKING COMA and you wouldn't know.

Well it's too late now. For the next two months, I've no time. And you should know why that is. But you don't care, so I can't be fucking bothered to tell you.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

You'll Never Really Understand

Lately I've been thinking about change. I'm happy to sit by and watch as everything around me changes. All but one thing.

The stadium is my lifeboat. It's work. Underpaid, overrated and sometimes it drives me crazy. But it's also magical. Work can cure almost anything. It is the one place in the world where I am always useful and reliable and welcome.
I've given up trying to make anyone understand what I find so comforting about my job. I guess it must be difficult to look past the grossness of not only what I do (um, which often involves sticking my hands down plugholes/grids/food disposals) but also my position in the food chain (second, only just above the commis chefs).

Every shift at my job is different. Every night/day has it's own story/scenario/gossip. Petty, but I love it.
Seriously, at what other job do you walk into a lift that already has ex-England player David Platt stood in it? Or see Mario Melchiott fart in the corridor (true story)? Or cater for Tony Blair (we all had to get police checked for that one)? Is your job that cool?

But really it's the people I work with too. I've never been able to act so immature and actually call it work. From hiding car keys, to sanitiser fights, childish pranks (involving paper hats) and wars with the KP's sworn enemy (scum-sucking waiters!). Some shifts I spend more time giggling than anything else.

When I graduated, I really had no idea what came next. I'm still figuring it out. And the stadium is giving me all the time I need to do just that. It keeps me focused, keeps me in the black, keeps me social. It never abandons me. At a time in my life when I really have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do, who I am, who I want to be... it helps to have somewhere where I know exactly what to do, who to be.

And I guess that's why I just can't give it up. Not yet.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Baby Steps

Sometimes life can narrow to tiny points of pleasure. A new CD, a trip to the cinema, coming home to X Factor, the promise of Gemini.

A win against United.

Some people may judge those who need these things to make it through the week. Who cherish such tiny, simple delicacies. But I pity the people who need big social drama, huge, expensive nonsense, Paris and Vienna... because they will always struggle to be happy.

Me? I always have the means to make myself happy again :)

I've been rampaging through some films! So a couple of pointers for ya, should you find yourself in need of entertainment:

Adventureland - Watched this a couple of days ago. Initially the fact that it's from the makers of Superbad can either attract or repel you. Um, it's nothing like Superbad. There is the occasional bad taste joke, but the film is, at heart, a love story. A summer love story (surely the best kind?). I watched this with two boys and they were, um, less than impressed. I loved it, but I have the hots for Jesse Eisenberg and think Kristen Stewart is an excellent actress (in everything except Twilight).


Little Ashes - Yet more Twilight-related fayre! RPattz plays Salvidor Dali in this. And he's very good. But that's the only saving grace of this film. The story is... boring. And I'm a history geek! Dali's character is very irritating. Total snooze-fest really.


American Teen - I wanted to watch this when it was playing in Manchester for like two weeks, but never had the time. The basic premise is that a documentary team filmed the senior year of four students in a typical high school in Warsaw -the jock, the geek, the princess and the rebel. Not surprisingly enough (in the era of Juno) the main focus was on Little Miss Rebel Hannah Bailey.

Hannah's story is indefinitely the most interesting, but I found myself sucked in by the others as well. It was tempting to wonder if certain elements of the documentary weren't... twisted, but regardless this is still better than most of what's cluttering the cinema listings right now. I was cheering all of the kids on and was left feeling satisfied by an ending that avoided over-sentimentality.


Tonight I'm off to see the Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. We'll see if it lives up to it's reputation!

Friday, October 23, 2009

My Place And Yours: On The Shelf

I love blogger games! Check out the My Place and Yours Meme and maybe even play along?

Next week's theme is already up, but I'm just gonna sneak this one in here quickly.
This week's theme was On The Shelf and since I was kinda pressed for time, I wasn't very creative, I'm afraid.
Here's my beautiful DVD collection guarded by my faithful henchmen:

And then the bottom view of my over-stuffed book cabinet. The books to the left of Vic and I are the "To Read" pile.

Finally my ABSOLUTE favourite shelf that holds some of my many Clamp in 3d figures. They're all so cute, I just love them!

Next week's theme is 'Bedside' so expect another post from me during the week. Hopefully I'll get to see some cute bedside photo's from some of you guys too!

Question Time

So I missed a lot of crucial viewing last night and am in the middle of getting caught up. Of course, the hair show was worth it, but I'll blog about that later.

We're only 20 minutes into Question Time and I'm speechless. Of course, I expected an attack on Nick Griffin, but this is massacre! And on the BBC! They've sat him next to Bonnie Greer, for fucks' sake! Mikey is clapping and cheering every time Jack Straw says anything (alas, he is a hopeless Socialist). If it weren't so serious, I'd be laughing.

Not that I'm complaining. It makes for highly entertaining viewing, but I truly have no words.

I would recommend anyone to watch it. Tis on catch up for the next week.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Sons Of Liberty

I'm really, really pissed off right now.

And the urge is to go into a HUGE rant and use every bad word under the sun. But fuck that shit. My rants are legendary and I reserve them for BIG DEALs, not things that just happen to hit one of my rather sensitive nerves.

ARGH, but my fingers are just chomping at the bit to write exactly what I'm thinking right now.

Screw it. I'm not seventeen anymore. You'll just have to use your imaginations.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Cold, We're So Cold!

My house is... cold. As Autumn chill creeps over the north west, the recession remains. Heating, gas, the fire... they all cost money. And since Rob and I aren't working full time (and are electricity junkies), we have forfeit our right to complain.

It's actually not that bad. Like right now I'm wrapped up in jeans, my new Frank hoodie (best money I ever spent) and my big ugg/type slippers (one of the best gifts I ever received, cheers Kirsty!). And I'm fine. I have tons of hoodies, jumpers, boots, scarves, hats... I'm a winter clothes freak! I can weather this storm no problemo!

The weird thing is, the cold makes me reluctant to do normal things. Like at night I am loathe to change into my pyjamas! I would sleep in my clothes if it weren't gross. And showering... no, no, no! Our bathroom really is freezing and stripping off for a shower is less than pleasant. Don't get me wrong, I am showering, but it sucks.

But there is something I love about the cold. It's the relief of coming home, out of the cold, the necessity of warmth over appearance. Curling up with a good book and a brew. The fact that the kitchens at work are never cold so I can still walk around in a t-shirt somewhere. I'm a preparation fanatic and I like being able to go out with my backpack knowing that I'm ready for whatever you can throw at me! Umbrella, check. Scarf, check. Gloves, check. Bus money, check. I'm waterproof, warm - I'm fucking invincible!

Saturday, October 17, 2009


I'm grinning so hard still! It was so so so so so good! Not that I expected any less.

The whole day was awesome. A big thanks to Toni and Dan (mostly Dan) for just putting up with my general weird/nazi/obsessive-ness. You guys rock!

But not as much as Mr. Turner and his terrific band who put on a truly legendary show to a legendary Manchester crowd. Oh yes, I was hanging on the barrier (yep, those pics aren't zoomed, I was that close), screaming along almost every word. I will most certainly be unable to speak tomorrow. Who cares? Speak is for the weak, lolz.

On my count Frank played a whopping TWENTY songs. I won't post the setlist (wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for Skinny and Jess) but it was good. Maybe not as good as it would've been if he'd played 'Our Lady Of The Campfire', but he did Father's Day which has become a real favourite of mine :)

Yes, Toni met Frank. Yes, I am very much green with envy. But I've had my chances. Maybe I am destined to always be at the front of his shows but never meet him. I can live with that.

See you in March my old friend. I'll miss you till then.

In other news, today I added to my little family of metal. Meet Esmeralda! Right now she's a real bitch, but really I love her lots. She didn't hurt too much, but whenever I grin I get a shooting pain in my ear. Ouchie!

Esme(ralda) is named after a beloved piercing now gone. Gone, but now never forgotten.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

You Will Make Me Sick Till The Day I Die

Have you ever just known you shouldn't do something? But sick fascination leads you to do it anyway?

Then you feel sick to your stomach and have no one to blame but yourself.

Next time, trust me, just DON'T DO IT.

(Skinny, are you ever gonna text me back??? If you don't wanna go I'm gonna go on my own.)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Glutton For Punishment

Life has become a little vampire-centric of late. First there's the story (which is going slowly, sorry Al'), then my TV viewing (Vampire Diaries and True Blood - and can I just say now that I love love love Jessica! She's my absolute favourite character! And her and Hoyt... too perfect!) and soon Twilight fever will flare up all over again.

My silent prayers have been answered and life is getting busy again :) lots of work and sweet friends clamouring for my company as well as the promise of Frank Turner on Friday... um, squee!

I wonder if people get defensive because they're being attacked or because they feel guilty. Lately it feels like my parents are judging every move I make, but when I confronted my Mother about it she seemed genuinely surprised. So maybe I just feel guilty.

Or it's a little bit of both?

It's tough being a grown-up. I'm learning that quickly. I go see Mike and it's strange how my heart fills with envy and longing when I see all the students. I walk amongst them but I can feel the difference between us now, even if no one knows I'm not a student.

Yeah, it's hard growing up. God, I should cut my folks some slack.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009



16th March @ The Picture House, Edinburgh
17th March @ Academy 1, Manchester
18th March @ Academy 1, Leeds
19th March @ Academy 1, Bristol
21st March @ Academy 1, Birmingham
22nd March @ The Waterfront, Norwich
23rd March @ The Pyramids, Portsmouth
24th March @ The Roundhouse, London

OHMYGOSH! ACADEMY 1 BABY! Frank is moving UP in the world! To think, I saw him in that tiny pub in Oxford not a year ago!

I'm going for tickets on Friday, if you wanna come, let me know!

edit: Even better, it's only 3 days before our Dan turns 20!

Did October...

...just sneak up on anyone else?

I think the transition from September to October is just so weird. One minute you're maybe thinking about putting on a jacket, the next the fire is on, it's dark by six and the sun has gone AWOL.

It hit me today when we were out and my hands were freezing.
"Maybe I should buy myself some new gloves?"

NEW GLOVES?! Not two weeks ago me and my workmates were sunbathing on our break! Now I want gloves? It really makes me so sad. And yet there is something romantic about autumn too. Not the hot, fiery, impulsive romance of summer, but rather the quaint, cliched, walking through burnt orange trees and sipping hot cocoa kind of romance.

On the other hand, I went internet-window shopping for a new winter coat yesterday and YIKES! Geesh, they are all so expensive this year! Last year I paid £50, but this year I'm looking at at least £70 for a new coat from Topshop! I may just have to freeze :(

Tuesday, October 06, 2009


My life is slowing to a stop. I knew this would happen. Vic, Dan, Al and Skinny are all back at Uni. Mikey's classes have started. Toni, Kirst and Urky are working (plus Urky is busy with her new boyfriend :P ). And Mark's at college.

I am bored.

This is what I get for workin' my ass off whilst they were all free. Yep, now work has dried up and I have nada to do. Except look for more work. Which makes me feel a little queasy.

I got my blood donor card today. Yay for me I'm A+!

So there's this guy at work, Alex. I cannot stand this guy. He annoys me by just breathing. And it's not just me (though I hate him the most). But today it got me thinking; are some people just particularly annoying or are we all annoying to certain kinds of people? What worries me is the fact that Alex is completely unaware of how annoying I, and some of the others, find him. What if he's never aware of it?

Could I, then, be an Alex and blissfully unaware of the fact that I'm really irritating?

If I am, can someone please tell me.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Olly Olly Olly!

So the final 12 are finally picked. Now I'm throwing down my allegiances! I LOVE LOVE LOVE OLLY OLLY OLLY!
And will back him all the way. Oh, and I'm soooooo glad that the results are gonna be on Sunday this year! Now maybe I'll get to vote some weekends!

Other than Olly I've decided to back Lucie, who I really liked from the beginning. She's so, so pretty.

Other than that my only thoughts are that Louie has no chance this year! If those horrible twins don't go out next Sunday, I'll be highly shocked. But more than them I really hate that Joe guy! EW, he's so greasy and fake and not talented.

Never mind, Olly's gonna blow 'em all out the water!

Vampire Diaries

Al was like "omigosh, you have got to watch Vampire Diaries!".

So I downloaded the first ep. Man, it was so cliched and not even kinda sexy. At least with Twilight and Buffy and even Roswell, there's chemistry and it's hot. This was just so sterile and formulaic.

So I was thinking, huh, I bet I could write something like this. There's a formula to these kind of shows/books and it goes a little something like this:

- Has often either: lost a parent/sibling, moved to a new town or both.
- Is pretty. But kind of misunderstood.
- Keeps a diary.
- Has friends but they are either: really vapid to make her look deep, in some way supernaturally helpful or there purely for comic relief.

- Is hot.
- Has a stupid/ridiculously outdated name (Edward being the exception here)
- Dresses old-fashioned/nondescript
- Has long hair. Never ever do hot vamps have a buzz cut.
- Funky coloured eyes. This is important. Whether golden, piercing blue or ruby red.
- Broods. A lot. Starts a lot of sentences he's not good at finishing.

The town is generally hick, but it does have some sort of dramatic scenery (e.g. forests, cliffs or a beach).

Am I right on the money? I'll let you know how it goes.

(By the way, Vic's got me totally addicted to Farmville. But as I am forced to use facebook (ahem, Toni's facebook) to play on it, I am getting more and more freaked out. Gah! What useless shite people post on there! God, I don't care if you're going out/can't sleep/having a brew! What made you want to tell me about it? I couldn't give a shit!)

Friday, October 02, 2009

Everything Reminds Me Of You

When it rains the whole world feels gloomy. And I think too much. I am contemplating everything, but mainly my own potential.

I am so busy writing to you, writing to people faraway, people across the road, people at work. I write to you all but never to me. I invest my hours in you, in them, in that. But your worlds will all turn without me.

I miss someone so dearly. Everything reminds me of them. Songs, places, even some of the things I say. My memories are tainted with their fluorescent glow and everything now seems so grey. I'm not convincing myself that it was more than it was. I lose and gain people so often. But I never wanted to lose this one, that is the truth. And at some point I maybe could have kept them.

And I'm tired of goodbyes. Tired of needing people to show that they miss me. If you don't miss me, I understand. You don't have to put a conscious effort into it. Right now, I wouldn't miss me either. So when you go away, when you went away, I'll just miss you. Don't miss me. Just come home one day.

So I have to start somewhere. I think it has to start with me. And then the others will follow, more vibrant and beautiful, but they will walk the path that I blazed for them. If I cannot be beautiful, I will create beautiful things.

For you. The people I always thought would one day be second to someone else, but now I know that can never be. He will only ever be second to you.

Maybe you'll tear your hair out that I'm not saying everything in black and white, but today is grey, grey, grey. And you don't have to know what it means, I only have to say it. That's the point, don't you get it? It's not for you, for them, for that. It's for me.

I send this babble of thoughts out into the world inside my computer, but it can only drift so far so long as it is irrevocably tied to me. Like floating notelets.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Truth About Forever

When I was in High School I was never happy unless I was in love. So I guess I was always happy? These days I'm content not to be obsessing over some stupid boy. I spent a year becoming infatuated with boys I didn't really like, kissing frogs and getting in with the wrong crowd.

I'm not trying to say I'm off boys. But I'm happy to wait.

Still, there are moments when you remember what it was like to be intoxicated by another person. It's hard not to be in love with being in love. And teenage infatuation is a strong force. It can take you to dizzying heights and miserable lows. Plus it's all too easy to get over since it was never real. Perfect really.

Since I've never really been in love, I wonder if I'll know when it happens? My faith in love has taken some real tough blows of late. I just want to know that it's possible for two people to love each other forever. If it isn't, I might not bother.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Well, aren't you a treasure?

Been working, working, staring - busy miss bee.

Everyone is coming, coming, going.

Night offers me his hand, twirls me into his cold arms.

And I am sleep, sleep, walk.

I have been a film watching machine. Firstly, (500) Days of Summer! Oh, it's good. I'd forgotten how cute Joseph Gordon-Levitt was. Then Wristcutters: A Love Story. It sounds terrible, I know, but it was awesome. The end made me smile, and I'm discovering my smiles are a rare and valuable occurrence. And tonight Dorian Gray, which was sooooooooo scary. Don't you think it's the things you don't see that are easily the most terrifying? Thus why Dorian Gray scared me, but it was great too.

Have the most lovely week ahead after rotten old Monday. If you are soon to leave me, I miss you already.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Karen Ellison's: THE EVENT

I got a lovely present yesterday! And I'd like to share it with everyone!

Tall Alan (nicknamed thus for obvious reasons) is my fellow geek in all that is geeky. Sci-fi, anime, retro kids tv, all manner of fantasy and even... TWILIGHT!

Look what I got!
Twilight Photo Cards! I thought I'd share this happy, happy event with all of you and open them live on my blog (yeah, I'm not starved for blogging ideas, just insanely excited about my photo cards!)

Here we go...

Lets have a look!

OMG, it's a double Emmett score!

Hmm, the cards are... not quite what I was expecting. They all have a weird little title. And a little story on the back. Huh.

However, here endeth the live event!

Which now leads me to my idea! Maybe I should send some of my favourite bloggers a random present which they have to open on their blog?! It could be REALLY fun!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


If it wasn't official before, it is today: I am a Manchester University alumni.

It feels very real and I've felt it for a while. I know I'll never have to write another essay, go to another class, take another exam. It's coming to terms with my Graduate status which is more difficult. I still feel like a student. I get annoyed at having to pay full price for everything. And everyone at work still talks to me as if I'm still seventeen:

"You back at college yet?"
"Um, I'm, like, 21."

It doesn't help that no one else has graduated. Even Toni is still technically a student. I'm the first graduate.

Still, looking at the mess they've made of this year's student loan funds, I guess I'm kind of glad I finished when I did. Seriously, how can people be surprised that there's more kids going to Uni than ever before? Kids are getting smarter and there are no jobs. I mean, hello.

I guess I feel sorry for the ones who are going to Uni to better themselves and their future prospects, as opposed to the ones just going for a laugh, or to delay the inevitable.

It kind of makes me sad to think that if I'd been five years younger, I might never have been able to even go to University.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Number 11

Number 11 - Go On A Big Wheel

I kind of hope Blackpool will become an annual tradition. It was just so nice to catch up with Catt and see little Caitlyn. I was not overly enthusiastic, however, about going on the Big Wheel. Sure, it wasn't as nerve-wracking as giving blood, but it was hardly pleasant. I mean, can you see my totally fake smile? I wasn't even putting on a good show.

But whatevs. It's done now and I am fast catching up on my list :)

Blackpool was fun. I'm still SO MAD AT MYSELF for forgetting my camera. It was a strange day, and not at all like I expected. But I did get a kickass pair of sunnies (which Caitlyn kindly modelled for me). I'm sure the others will blog more extensively about it.