Now I am oddly relaxed.
Every time Vic mentions leaving next Monday, it feels like someone's punctured my stomach. Isn't that strange? I couldn't really explain to Toni today why watching the match on Wednesday seemed so important. It's just something that we always do. Vic always comes over for the match.
I wonder how I will feel when she's not there anymore.
Me and Vic talk about a lot. A lot. But I'm not sure how to say that I'll miss her. I've never really had to say it to anyone before. Every time I think about it seems kind of pathetic. Or maybe I'm just being too proud. I don't know. I'm talking myself in circles. I've been thinking myself in circles about it since December.
Have your Parents ever told you a really depressing story about how they lost touch with a really good friend? It's one of the scariest things they can tell you when you're fifteen and you think that you and your mates will be friends forever. But isn't that possible? I want to think that there are... five people I'll be friends with forever. If I'm being naiive, just don't tell me. I can't handle that right now.
I have to keep my head. You remember April when everything just kind of went off the rails? I know that that happened because of an all too frightening reality check. So no reality checks, okay? I don't want another reality check, the last one was way too scary.
I have songs that remind me of everyone. You don't know it, but when I miss you too much, I listen to yours. Yep, if you're reading this I'm sure you must have a song. If you want a clue about yours, just look on my Top 100 most played. You might even figure out just how much I miss you by checking out the play count.
I'm pretty sure this next week is gonna be tough and not just for me. So if things get kinda weird around here, just bear with me. I promise, we'll resume scheduled programming when I feel like myself again.