Thursday, July 31, 2008

I Just Blow Everything Up

Today's blog title is dedicated to... DANNY! My good friend Danny just doesn't seem to realise what a truly awesome dude he is. I think it would be impossible for me to ever truly hate him, he is just too clumsy, naiive and perfectly sweet, he'd win me right back over.

The chances of me blogging again before I leave are slim to none. So I'll be leaving my lonely little corner of the world wide web in Cal's oh so capable hands. I hope he amuses you.


Long live Pwllheli!!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Lets make SA-WEET music together

Well, he's delicious and has the second best taste in music ever - after moi, duh - he is Cal and he shall be doing a couple of blog posts for me whilst I am away. Thank you Cal, you are amazing!

In the mean time, my pennyless state means that I'm currently missing out on the latest Subways album, the new CSS album, 'Modern Guilt' by Beck and the MGMT debut - which was released AGES ago, but I have yet to purchase it.

In some of the best music news EVER, Noah and the Whale have finally got around to releasing an album. BUY IT AUGUST 11TH. No seriously, buy it. You cannot live without it.

In almost as amazing news, the new Kings of Leon song 'Crawl' is smexy as hell and bodes well for the new album in September.

My Frank Turner tee has arrived! I am now a Festival Slut! Shall post photo later, promises!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Squee, Squee, SQUEE!!!

Oh my gosh, it should just be called Twilight month! Aw man, how bad does it SUCK that Breaking Dawn comes out the day I'm wandering off to THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE for a week with my most awesome mates. I shall have to HOPE AND PRAY that Waterstones in Wigan will have the book. This means getting up SUPER EARLY on Saturday morning to go into Wigan and get the book and then get back home in time to GO ON HOLIDAY!!! Woot!

And the film is just looking better and better for me.


Thursday, July 24, 2008

Magnets

It saddens me to admit this, but there are people who you can simply never be good friends with. I'm proud of how different all my close friends are, how their diverse interests broaden my horizons. But sometimes people are just too different. At least, that's what I'm beginning to think.

You're a good person and I respect and admire you. Lately, I feel so guilty all the time for doing something so thoughtless. There was no excuse for my behaviour and I wish I had the confidence to apologise to you. I want the chance to apologise to you. I am sorry.

This summer simply isn't turning out the way I wanted. I might as well admit that. Everything is fucked up and I'm angry, just so angry all the time. I'm terrified constantly. I'm scared of time and how it runs away from me, I'm afraid of myself and how I over and under estimate my own potential, I'm frightened that I'm losing everyone. No one is the same anymore, they all seem to change when my back is turned. Yes, even you.

Alee told me to make a list of the things I like about myself (which is rich since she never blogs). She assured me it would make me feel just a little bit better. What I like about Alee is that she's lacking in confidence for reasons that baffle me. She gives me hope that all the things I hate about myself simply aren't true.

A List of things Karen Likes About Herself:

- My hair
- My eyes. They are green, that's been confirmed.
- My writing. It isn't Sarah's and it isn't as good as some people's, but it's there and not everyone finds their talent in their lifetime. I'm lucky.
- My lips. I've been complimented on them before which made me notice them more.
- My eyelashes - my Mother prayed for a daughter with long, dark lashes.
- My voice. Not as in singing - which I'm not very good at. I mean, I get made fun of all the time for my varying accents, but I think my voice is one of the things that makes me stand out and I don't really care if people make fun of it.
- Once, a good friend told me that I am the sort of person who loves entirely. There's no halfway point for me, if I love something I love it with all I have. I think that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said about me. I am extremist, which can be a bad thing, but is often a positive aspect of my personality.
- My imagination. It is the key to this locked cage, the key to my escape.

Cheers Al', that did cheer me up a bit.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mercury and Moon Pie

I'm listening to the new Bloc Party song and... I have my reservations. Honestly, I love Bloc Party. I hate people who compare them to the likes of the Kooks and Razorlight... NOT EVERY BAND THAT IS POPULAR IS A SUCKY SELLOUT! Get over yourselfs music snobs. I hope the song is a grower.

Oh yeah, Emmy the Great is playing Leeds Festival! Smiles all around, she rocks!

Went over to Maiden's last night and I had some difficulty shipping my words from my mind to my mouth properly. Vic vowed she would have to leave early and ended up going with me at midnight. We're that good company. Kyle'd had his hair cut and scared the crap outta me when he appeared in the alley. Don't tell him, but I don't like the new hair and when I see him in the corner of my eye I keep wondering for a split second just who he is.

Norman and I
Shall eat moon pie
And stare at the sky
While Vic gets high
And the bumblebees die
We'll mourn and cry
Then wave goodbye.


Monday, July 21, 2008

Allies

If anything remotely interesting was happening, I would blog about it. As it is, life has ground to a halt. I'm all out of money-free ways to have fun and quite frankly my holiday cannot come quickly enough.
My workmates have become my new family because I see them so much. Kylie, Neil, Jodie, Meme, Craig and Owen - I love you all very much. You don't know it, but you guys are the only thing getting me through these sucky July weeks. Thanks for helping me retain my sanity.
We went to the cinema last night to watch Prince Caspian, which was actually pretty good. Alee did not exaggerate Caspian's hotness - he was dreamy. The High School Musical 3 photos were my idea - they turned out pretty awesome, especially Jen's, but I think we embarrassed Toni. Sorry dude, but you have to agree that it was well worth it.


Sunday, July 13, 2008

I forgot

I forgot that you inspired it completely, took my dying faith and breathed new life into it. I forgot and for that I'm sorry. I gave her a name tonight. I tried to rationalise it, but in the end this was the name she would always have. I hope that you like it. I hope I can breathe life into her the way you did to me.

My only love.

The girl cocked her head to one side. Her eyes were as blue as the sheen of ice and her lips were so dark. Another living embodiment of one of my nightmares.
“You met Violet,” Anders said softly, his voice coming from behind me.
“Violet?”
The girl nodded. “That’s right, Avery,” she answered, angelically.
I gasped and took an instinctive step backwards. The little girl bit her lip.

“Violet happens to be one of our more… gifted children,” Anders explained, quickly.
The girl's eyes saddened, finally looking away from my face.
"He's looking for you," she whispered, "you shouldn't wander off."
I opened my mouth to ask who she meant, but Isaac appeared at the end of the corridor behind her before I could speak.
"Anders?" He said, questioningly.
Anders lifted a hand to him before turning to Violet. He gently placed his hand upon her tiny shoulder.
"I think Avery has to go," he told her, carefully.
She didn't answer, instead fixing me with her calculating gaze. I'm afraid to think about how long we stood, staring at one another, before Isaac gently pulled me away and Anders steered the girl back into her room.
"Did you... know that girl?" Isaac asked as Donnie signed the forms to grant him release of Silas.
I shivered remembering those icy cold blue eyes. I would have recognised them anywhere. But Isaac was already on tenterhooks, always looking for the slightest hint of danger. It was a selfish urge, but I longed for his undivided attention again.
Slowly, against my better judgement, I shook my head.

You Don't Work So FUCK YOU!

There are people I know who still don't have jobs - I know, what LAZY FUCKERS! You know what? People who don't work REALLY PISS ME OFF. How do I loathe thee lazy, workshy bastards? Let me count the ways!

Well, for one you never have any cash to do ANYTHING so you spoil everyone elses fun.

You enjoy rubbing it in that you don't have to get up early, or miss another night out, or suck up to your boss.

And what annoys me MOST about people who don't work? You have no fucking consideration for those who do.

I know you're sat there, rolling your eyes and going 'oh here she is on another rant in the heat of the moment'. Well actually, yeah, it is the heat of the moment but the truth is I've worked for 3 years straight and I work damn hard and I hate people who don't. And why do I work? So I've always got enough money to hang out with my friends, so that my time is always precious, so that I don't get the wrong impression about life in the adult world and so I never, ever have to sponge off others.


If you don't work, without good reason, and especially if you've NEVER worked I have NO respect for you and I never will until you get off your ass and get a fucking clue.

You know what? I don't give a shit anymore. I work and I work and I work and no fucker can even be bothered to give ME a break so don't EXPECT any breaks off me. Just go and do your own thing and when no one will employ you in the adult world well, colour me fucking shocked.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Friday Night

Norman and I are sat here feeling rather despondent. I'm used to working Friday nights and so while a Friday night off isn't unwelcome, it kind of leaves me feeling like a loose end. While everyone else is getting ready to go out, or at the cinema or even down at the gym, we are left here wondering what to do. Lately, having all this time means that I'm always feeling guilty as if I might be wasting it. I know that after this summer I'm never going to have so much time again, so I should make the most of it. And I'm honestly not complaining, I just guess that it's still a shock to the system.

I like watching my hands type. Norman has just commented on how my hands look like white spiders dancing across the keyboard. Norman, I might add, has a tendency to be over dramatic.

In far less depressing news, the wonderful FRANK TURNER is gracing Manchester with his presence in October and the Maidenator and I are so there. I intend to buy tickets when I go to Uni on Tuesday and it shall be a truly fabulous night! But now I find out that the Mystery Jets are playing TWO DAYS LATER which makes me wonder whether I should make it a GIG WEEKEND SUPREMO and go to both... hmmmmmmmmmmm! Yes! I'll order Frank tickets online then buy Mystery Jets tickets when I go to Uni! What a plan! Tis genius!!!

I shall do it now! I am ALREADY feeling better :D Screw you Friday nights, I'm goin' watching Frank Turner!!!!!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

How Toni and I are Different

Due to my laptopless state I am spilling this post out onto a notepad. I'm in post-euphoria of a pleasant evening out at the cinema. I got to see Vic for the first time since she got back from Spain - the poor thing was ill. I also got to see Skinny again - sporting her beautiful new hairstyle - with her cool younger bro Mark - who knows his History and as such is awesome in my eyes. I talked a little bit too much, argued with Kirsty over the film, received a shoe compliment from Kyle and watched Toni near meltdown because her friend Nulty - wicked name, must steal for a character - was sick.

And thus I was met with the realisation of why Toni and I are different. Apart from the obvious - I clearly have far superior music taste and a strange perchance for Macauley Culkin.

There was this guy at the cinema. He was, in a word, delicious. Tall, skinny, very blonde - imagine a gangly Link. In fact, he reminded me so strongly of Isaac - my beloved hero from my eventual masterpiece - that I actually stammered when I spoke to him.

So we have me, ready to hand my heart over to a random blonde guy.

Then there's my dear Toni. It's obvious to the whole world that Toni is MADLY IN LOVE with Kyle. Duh. So don't even think of mistaking this as an attempt to besmirch Toni's loyalty and integrity. However, I, being the hypersensitive person I am, detected some major smitteness. Yep, Toni was acting as though Nulty were an extra large seafood pizza with anchovies - Hot! Handle with CARE!

So here's the difference between us. I always - always, always, always - fall in love with dreams, illusions. I already had a whole life story for Blondie McHottie - divorced parents, one precocious little sister, does Computer Science at Uni and loves Dragonball-Z and licourice wheels. Red licourice wheels. These dreams aren't without flaws - gosh, no, I love flaws, they make you who you are! - I mean, I HATE Dragonball-Z. The real problem is that these dreams aren't real. Blondie McHottie is almost certainly nothing like that. And, chances are, if I got to know him I may not like him.

Toni, on the other hand, has got to know this Nulty dude and taken a liking to who he is. She was the same with Kyle. She loved who Kyle was and was positively desperate for us to all love him too. So maybe she does have a crush on Nulty, but I suspect she's just dying for us to see in him what she's already seen.

And as for me, I'm just a classic case of judging books by covers. I'm too damn hopeful. I suppose I need to take a leaf out of Toni's book.
They were playing Vampire Weekend at the cinema. This freaked me out a little because I'd been listening to them before I left and pretty much all weekend.

Hancock was good. Screw you imdb.

I apologise for a lack of posts. No point posting when NOTHING is happening.

Friday, July 04, 2008

WTF

I told you about my friend Skinny yesterday - and briefly mentioned her new car. Well, I didn't tell you that she has the best license plate EVER! WTF!

Laurie did post a topic for today, but I think it sucks. I don't give a shit that it's Independence day over in America. Oh well done, you got your independence, you screwed up France for nearly a century to pay for it, but in the end you got what you wanted. Typical fucking America!

See that's the thing, I do a lot of American history. And American History tells you a few things about Americans: they're glory hunters, they're cowards and, most of the time, they're led by FUCKING IMBECILES. Oh well done JFK, you owned the Cuban Crisis, but did you do even half as much to better America as Roosevelt did? No you didn't. I wonder why then Americans worship you like you were the second coming. Oh wait, yes, you were a pretty boy all-american guy. Well fucking done.


Sorry for the mass use of expletives, but it does irk me how Europe always seem to pay for America's fuck-ups. Just like the Madrid and London bombings, innocent Europeans paying the price for fat, greedy Americans.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Today's Fifteen Minutes

TODAYS TOPIC AS GIVEN BY LAURIE: Describe someone you know, but don't give us the typical physical characteristics like hair and eye color. Try to show some of that person's personality by showing them in action.

Since yesterday I hung out with Skinny, I'll tell you a little bit about her. I suppose the first thing that would strike you about Skinny is how opinionated she is. If she loves something, she loves it with her whole heart. I once remember her arguing to tears with this guy over her favourite book. This leads to the second thing you quickly notice about Skinny - she doesn't let things go easily. She is the type of person who dwells over something for a long, long time. She can take things personally so you must do you best to be explicit around her.

Skinny and I came up with the genius idea of picking Toni up from church. At the time it seemed like an excellent idea and we convinced Toni's husband to a. let us and b. not snitch on us. We were listening to one of Toni's mix CDs and Skinny was cooing over her car whilst I nodded along. When we pulled up at Church, Skinny was full of excitement, she literally seemed to be bouncing up and down on her seat. She was frantically searching the windows of Koko looking for Toni and was especially happy when Toni emerged and walked straight past us, looking for Kyle.

Ah, but our surprise was ruined when Toni's eyes seemed to fill with tears upon seeing us and she sat sullenly in the back of the car whilst we drove Mark home. Skinny and I did our best to have fun and not dwell on the fact that we'd upset Toni somehow. Skinny's disappointment was clear though, I think she'd wanted Toni to be as excited as she. Still, the thought was there.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

No sooner had I posted...

...did I stumble across BLOGGING GOLD! Excellent YA author Laurie Halse Anderson has set a writing challenge:

The rules are simple. In fact, they aren't even rules. They're more like guidelines, the Pirate Code of Writing.
1. Commit to write for 15 minutes a day for the entire month of July.
2. Just do it.

Seriously. That's all there is to it. You don't have to sign up anywhere, or meet minimum word count goals or complete a whole freaking novel in 30 days. Just. Write. Every Day. 15 Minutes.

To help people out, the wonderful Laurie is even posting a topic every day! My life is stupendously dull right now, so to fill the posts I have decided to undertake Laurie's challenge! Hurrah!

If you'd like to try it yourself, check out http://halseanderson.livejournal.com/

TODAYS TOPIC AS GIVEN BY LAURIE: Write about the most embarrassing incident from your childhood.

Well, I suppose you couldn't call it an incident but rather a long, agonising trial. When I was only ten years old I used to make myself sick every Sunday night. I longed for a broken arm, or a 24 hour stomach bug. Anything to avoid the torture that was Monday Morning Swimming lessons.

I couldn't swim when I was ten. I very much doubt I can swim now. When I was barely 3ft in height, my Mother used to pull me into the deep end of the swimming pool and whirl me around. Dancing was what she used to say, we're dancing in the water. It terrified me then and the experience seemed to stay with me. I wouldn't say I was afraid of water, but I was certainly terrified of swimming.

Swimming lessons were truly horrific. The few of us who couldn't swim were designated to lessons in the baby pool. Back then I was one of the tallest girls of my class and even the deep end of the baby pool barely reached my shoulders. I hated every second of it, the changing rooms, the costume, the showers, sitting on the side before being separated, humiliatingly, from the rest of my class.

Strange though. You can't leave Primary school without a level 3 swimming certificate. Which I did get eventually. To get it I had to swim a length of backstroke in the big pool. I remember being half way through the lap and ready to give up and then I heard cheering. My classmates were cheering me on. Even now, the memory warms my heart.

The thing is, I think about swimming lessons a lot. I can still vividly remember how scared and shaky I was every Sunday night, the way my stomach churned and how I used to try to think up ways to hurt myself. I know that however awful my life becomes it just can't compare to swimming lessons.

Nothing has ever been, or, I hope to God, will ever be as painful and humiliating as swimming lessons were.

Only a month

Until I go on Holiday! Woo. I am honestly brimming with excitement.

Let me introduce you to Watanuki:
He's a very lovely dude, always selfless and excellent at cooking. How I wish he would throw strips of fried tofu to me. I've somehow ended up with two Watanukis - I know, I'm so lucky! - and so I'm selling one Watanuki to a good home.
He is terribly excited about this, a change of scenery is exactly what he needs.
Tomorrow I am off to Manchester and then back to Toni's flat for some movie therapy with Maid and Skinny. I've picked my DVD already.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

What are you writing?

I have discovered that there are certain places where it is impossible for me to write. At work, for example. I bought a pretty new notebook on a whim with the hopes of re-drafting some of my latest, top-secret story. So, it was Saturday night, I was working an easy shift on my own and I went for my break with the intention of starting to re-draft.

And then, in wander Craig and Neil. They, of course, kept asking insistently what I was writing and just being generally annoying. Grr.

So I can't write at work. But now, I can't write at home either! I'm currently so addicted to Wimbledon that I'm far too distracted to write. And, as well as that, I'm hooked on a new anime - SPECIAL A - that I just can't get enough of. Argh, I need to write! My story needs redrafting and my fanfiction needs completing!!!



However, the other night I did write one of the BEST kiss scenes, if not THE BEST kiss scene I've ever written. I write a lot of kiss scenes - it's kind of manditory for popular fanfiction - but I've never got it quite right. I'm a massive chick lit addict and I know a good kiss scene when I read one. It's definitely an art form. However, my own personal experience has always been rather awkward. Yes, I admit it, I have never had a toe-curlingly excellent kiss. There have been good ones, but nothing to write home about. Perhaps this explains why I haven't found the right person yet - still, I am only twenty! I'm not worrying about that yet!

I know romance isn't dependent on kissing, but we are living in the 21st century so a little action is kind of important. Anyhow, if you want to read my excellent kiss scene... you'll just have to read my new fanfic when I get around to posting it!!! Heheheheh!