Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Social Retardation


For weeks I've been subjected to slow social retardation. Honestly, since the United Match that I worked, I've been out once. And that was the other night to watch Indiana Jones - the film was excellent, by the way - and most of that evening was spent watching the film so it wasn't the most social evening out.

Oh wait, actually, I went for coffee - tea actually - with Mike at Starbucks the morning before my exam where he prepped me and then stole a cup for me. Ooh, I haven't told that story have I? Okay, so, we were sat in Starbucks at Piccadilly station. He was waiting for a train and had suggested we hang out and he could test me before my exam - so sweet of him - and the only really suitable place close to Sackville Street was Starbucks. I'd told him the story of when I got ripped off by Starbucks in Sheffield and how Danny had promised Vic he would steal a cup for her. Then, as we were getting up to leave he picked up the cup and just slipped it into his bag!!! Then, at the escalators, he pulled it out and handed it to me!

I have to admit, the whole thing was devilishly sexy. The way he just did it and didn't even look stressed or bothered. And then he just gave it to me, like it was a box of chocolates or a bunch of flowers. Of course, it was way better than either of those. I've been thinking of writing it into one of my stories. Something tells me Avery would love a Starbucks cup stolen for her by Isaac. Or even better, Anders or Gabe could steal it for her and Isaac could get p-retty jealous! Jealous men are awesome.

I'm a big reader of chick lit.

Karen and Norman's List of delicious situations that are manditory within chick lit:

1. Jealous men
2. Drooling/Swooning men
3. Angry declarations

Wait a second, I've totally got off topic. Sorry, so we were supposed to be going to the pub tomorrow night and now I find out Mark's going watching fucking Sex in the City. In his defence, he told Vic he couldn't go over the weekend. But being ditched for Sex in the City? Meh, I was looking forward to a nice evening out and now I just feel deflated. I've had a crap couple of days and a night out with my mates was just the ticket.


Sunday, May 25, 2008


Did you know that well is a parethetic remark? My head is still full of exam knowledge that I'm hoping I no longer need. Yes, that means that I think they went okay, apart from British History. I'm using my brother's laptop, Bob. I don't mind Bob, but he needs a wipe and one of his brackets keys doesn't work which means everything that I now must use -s as a substitute for brackets. Ah, the sacrifices!

I was watching Mean Girls last night - yeah, mock all you want - when a firework display began around fifty yards away from my back garden. And holy shit was it loud! I felt like I was in the middle of an air raid. Even worse, it scared the shit outta my poor bunny rabbit. Since I will never be able to find out who was responsible for the bloody thing, I'd just like to say FUCK YOU YOU INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS! I HOPE ONE OF THE THINGS GOT LOOSE AND SET FIRE TO YOUR FUCKING HOUSE.

Now, with that out the way... Toni posed some questions on her wonderful blog that I am now answering here - to secretly test if she reads my inconsequential thoughts since I suspect that she does not.

1) What animal would you be if you were making a new Chinese zodiac sign, and what would you symbolise?
I would be a giraffe. I am a very pessimistic person and I think it would be nice to reinvent myself as the sort of person whose reach always exceeds their grasp.

2) If you were to die falling off any man-made structure, what would it be?
Deansgate bridge. Then my last thoughts and sensations would be of beauty.

3) In your own words, what is gravity?
Newton's most famous theory. Sorry, still in exam mode.

4) What is the capital of Russia?
Hmm. It's either St.Petersburg or Moscow. I could google it, but I don't care enough.

5) Why did you just answer these pointless questions?
See above.

For all my Twilight lovers... SQUEE!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008



Yep, that’s me. I can’t really take the time to explain in detail (my laptop melted my adaptor. Yep, melted.). But I am alive and well (although, that’s definitely questionable). My first 2 exams were merciful. Thank God. Now I’m hoping the same of the next two.

June 3rd seems so far away.

Anyway, I’ll update tomorrow after my Language and Perception exam. Hopefully I’ll be cheerful.

Must return to revising coffeehouse culture!

(P.S. I was walking into Victoria Station and I saw a license plate that said LxZ on it!!!)

Friday, May 16, 2008

It's Gotta Get Bad Before It Gets Good

Ain't that the truth?

I want it good now, but it's gotta get bad before it gets good

This is the very song in my head right now (Bad Before Good by Day One). It is the most awesome song ever and it totally sums up my life. Because you can't have good without bad. Good defines bad. The bad times make the good times even sweeter.

You can't know joy without knowing suffering.

Seriously, the song is pure bloody awesomeness. It's like, totally deep man. I'm not stoned, honestly, just hyped up on pre-exam adrenaline and 1:14am-ness.

Saying it'll come good in a little while...

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


I've been asked by one of my fanfiction friends whether I've ever considered writing a lemon. The thing is, I am not opposed to lemons. I think, tastefully done, they make entertaining reading. It's just a shame that I have only read one tastefully written lemon.

One. The rest have made me cringe.

So the answer is not that I haven't considered it, but that I don't think I could do it. Plus, the truth of the matter is I've never had the experience so writing about it wouldn't be impossible, but I'd indefinitely struggle.

The main reason I haven't though, is because of the stigma that comes with them. For one, they're a desperate cry for attention and derive from the originality of your story. And secondly, since everyone else is so afraid of lemons it kind of puts your reputation into question.

The problem is, I've been torn as to whether my dear, sweet main characters of my brainchild should consumate their relationship. Most YA authors have to confront sex eventually. Each one has their own way of going about it. My idol, Sarah, doesn't skirt around it but rather leaves a little to the imagination. For her, sex is not always central to the story (except in 'Someone Like You'). I figure every author has to address sex in their own way and eventually I'll figure out my own.

Until then, my two young lovers might have to wait. Poor things.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

And again with the WEIRDNESS

I've had the weirdest weekend ever. Well, Saturday wasn't so weird. I worked with a couple of new Kitchen Porters. They were both super nice and took some initiative which is good since I'm rubbish at telling people what to do. Or so I think.

Today was just pandemonium.

Never has the JJB stadium seen such madness. We all had to be verified as Stadium workers at the door by the KP supervisor before they would allow us in the building and even as we sat around waiting for the beginning of our shift there were United fans eyeing the open door.

I was stuck on a meal for 380 (not happy about that) with Craig and Neil (even more unhappy about that) and one of the new KPs from Saturday (he was really good, super nice dude). The plus? There was the hottest agency waiter ever working in my kitchen!

Oh, he was too cute. He had long brown hair that curled at the ends and the greenest eyes. And his accent? Oh to die for. Too bad he was agency. I'll probably never clap eyes on him again in my life. *Sigh*

Oh yeah, back to the topic at hand. There were United fans banging on the walls, offering us cash to slip them in. A few somehow did get in and ran through South Stand Kitchen trying to find the concourse. It was insane! We did get to see the United scum parading round the trophy. Good job I hadn't eaten all day that's all I can say about that.

You know what though? When our kitchen was finished Owen and me went up to the main kitchen and hung out with Kylie, Richard, Hannah and Hazel just waiting for something to do. All of us were stood around talking and messing around and I remembered just why I can't leave that place. It's like all of us are a big, weird family. I really do have a lot of love for my work friends. We stick together and take care of each other. It's inspiring really.

Thus I know I won't leave until I have to. Every horrible moment there is made worthwhile by the awesome people I work with.

Thursday, May 08, 2008


The new Hadouken album (as well as The Raconteurs and Panic (no !) at the Disco's new albums) arrived this morning. Of course, I put it on almost immediately.

It's difficult to explain why I like Hadouken so much. I'm not particularly impressed by the nu-rave trend. Really, it was fun at first but now it just seems a way for Topshop and H&M to make a shitload of cash. Personally, I'm happy to see Leeds Fest go back to a metal centered line-up. Metal heads are lovely. Nu-rave kids... not so much.

I am not nu-rave, obviously. To emphasise how un nu-rave I am, I listened to Hadouken's album whilst I had a bath and drank a cup of tea. So uncool. Not like I care.

But this album is awesome. Hadouken are like a snapshot of the young culture that surrounds so many of us every day. It reflects both sides as well, the parties, the irresponsibility, the laughs and then the drugs, the consequences, the pain and the confusion. It's strange, but in a way the messages of this album are almost anti-rave. You'd have to give it an objective listen to understand where I'm coming from.

Musically, it's also top notch. The lyrics are poetic perfection. And the beats feel like your own heart pounding in your chest, setting the mood to each song with startling accuracy.

It is dark, fast and refreshing. Hardly an album to relax to but honestly I'm tired of all this singer songwriter shit that middle-aged people can't get enough of. FUCK ambiance music and shite about bicycles and sitting on beaches! Lets have a little bloody honesty. Thank you Hadouken!

Monday, May 05, 2008

Hello. I saw you today and thought you special...

...so I wrote you a poem. That's what I was doing whilst the South African man was preaching because I think you were wondering.

Not perfect, not close,
But unexpected, pleasure amongst guilt,
Where I am dragged by invisible force,
To the house that God built.
And I remember sunny days
School plays
Fields ablaze,
The latest craze.
I like your glasses,
How can you be here?
My stranger amongst the masses,
I can’t let you disappear.
Like perfect sunsets,
Trails from plane jets,
Tips of cigarettes,
Fleeting silhouettes.
Instead I’ll bottle your scent,
Record your laughter,
Scribe your content,
And remember you thereafter,
Along with polystyrene fights,
Musical nights,
The northern lights,
My romantic rights.