Sunday, January 27, 2008

Daydreams are my addiction

There are times when it feels like you have nothing. You look around you and see everything you want taken by somebody else; someone prettier, someone smarter, someone richer, even sometimes someone completely ungrateful. In times like these it is important to keep perspective. But I've never been very good at doing that, so instead, I retreat into daydreams.

Daydreams that I'm published, or even inspiring to some rookie author. Daydreams that I'm loved and treasured by someone I feel equally about. Daydreams that I need nothing but a kiss on the forehead before I go to sleep at night.

I am tired, so tired of what is behind me, trying to catch up and smother me before I can take another step. Why do I feel that I have so much to prove? I am so very lucky. I have more truth and life in me than they can ever hope for. I am seeking out the world that I hope to understand. Plus I am blessed with a wealth of good friends and excellent taste.

So it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself and take what it is I want. I'll take from you your title, since you don't want it anymore. I'll earn myself young fans, be worthy of their admiration. And you, you I shall neither win nor steal. You shall come to me all on your own, for only a desperate girl chases. You'll offer me your shaking hand, complete with temple kisses and weekend conventions.

And as for my past, you can burn in lies.

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