Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Murder Mystery

Well, I wasn't the murderer. Oh well. Neither was Vic, much to her dismay. Still, the evening was immensely eventful. And I, though I say so myself, looked pretty fab. Although everyone did.

The murder mystery took quite a long time, probably because it's so bloody confusing. In the end, Kia was the murderer and only my friend Ruth guessed. I thought it was birthday boy Mark. Ah well.

After the mystery we all gathered around to play 'I Never' during which we found out way too much about Kia, got a little tipsy or (if unlike myself you couldn't handle your drink) verging on drunk, consumed an entire bottle of vodka then moved onto champagne and defined sexual deviance.

After which the fun really got started. Kia threw up whilst he was asleep, Toni found him and freaked out because she has a phobia of vomit, Ruth stomped on Vic's foot with her stiletto heel while they were dancing, Steph and Becca went missing and Nathan thought he heard Steph scream, Ruth fell outside and cut up her leg. What was kind of coolest and kind of weirdest about all this was that everyone kept turning to me to help out. Nathan came to me to help him find Steph and Becca, I had to go and calm Toni down, Ruth assured me that she was fine and that there was nothing to worry about and Mark asked me what he should do about Vic.

It was nice that they all felt they could rely on me. But I was quite shocked by how responsible they all were! I mean, the guys carried Kia to the toilet, cleaned him up, called his Mum to pick him up and then cleaned up the chair. And Steph and Becca were totally sober and had just gone off to get some fresh air. And Mark got some ice and tcp for Vic's foot. Ruth cleaned up her leg, got changed and sobered up pretty quickly.

If this had happened at my party, at my house I'd of been freaking out. But Mark seemed to just take it all in his stride (apart from worrying about Vic).

Anyway, it was a great night. Almost as great as Jackass 2 the night before! Almost.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Further Updates

Hmm, it's tough to recall everything I need to catch up on. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Well, I've made a good friend at Uni. She's called Hannah and she's combined studies Psychology like me. We made friends in the first week when I got up the guts to ask if she wanted to come to the Fresher's Fair with me and Maiden. Since then we've been making time to hang out sometime every week, generally going to the cinema.
She's pretty cool (despite being a Newcastle fan, ha!) and we have a lot in common. I think that's just one of the things I've been a little bit disappointed about; people at uni all seem to have very different interests to me. I haven't really met anyone yet with my love and adoration of music. Sad. I guess I was expecting a load of Owen Armstrongs walking around. Or at least one.

Maybe the one is me.

In other news, on Saturday I am girly. I've been invited to my friend Markie's murder mystery party. Which is set in the 60s, which means I have to wear a dress. A short dress. And heels. And make-up. And tights! Many wonderful pictures shall be posted!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Unspeakable Thursday (a few weeks ago now)

Yeah, the fabulous news is that I HAVE INTERNET AT HOME AGAIN!

Not exactly the super fast broadband connection I'm used to (only 2meg) BUT I'm paying for my own internet now, so I refuse to pay extortionate Telewest prices just for faster internet. REFUSE. Gosh, the developments in just one month are... well, pretty huge. I can't decide what I should catch up on first. Well, if I don't explain UNSPEAKABLE THURSDAY nothing else will really make sense.

Okay, so, over the first few weeks of Uni I'd seen David around a couple of times. And then Toni happened to catch the train with him one morning (which I was pretty annoyed about because I'd caught the earlier train. Darn it!) and got talking to him. About me. This, of course, thrilled me beyond all comprehension. And then once they'd got off the train she BROUGHT HIM TO WHERE I WAS INNOCENTLY DRINKING A PRE-LECTURE CUP OF TEA. We chatted a little then all had to run off to lecture.

The funny thing about all this is, I've been seeing David every thursday morning which means I've been stumbling into lecture completely delirious and totally freaking out my History buddy Mike who has, unknowingly, watched the progression of this pathetic crush. Yes, pathetic. Because after two weeks of forcing conversation with him, getting all prettied up on Thursday mornings (and getting up WAY earlier than I needed to, well twenty minutes anyway), David drops the bombshell. Only I don't hear him. Toni does.

Cue the scene: It's the fourth Thursday of this entire debacle. David has spoken even less than usual. I'm at the end of my tether. We split off from him at the Humanities building and I start walking down to Mansfield Cooper with Toni.
Me: That's it! I give up!
Toni: I'm sorry Karen. I wouldn't have asked if I'd of known.
Me: Asked what?
Toni: Er, nothing. Forget it.
(Suddenly I feel rather sick. The truth can do that to you.)
Me: Asked what, Maid?
Toni: Well, when I asked what his type was...
(Ah yes. A bus had roared past at this point in Toni's interrogation of David and I'd missed the bombshell. Darn it!)
Toni:... and he went, well, my girlfriend I guess.

Yes. His girlfriend. As in the girl I'd seen him with over summer but allowed Toni to convince me was probably his sister or something. So after that I was pretty much gutted. And ashamed because I'd spouted on and on and on to Toni about how much I liked him.

Still, by the time I'd got into lecture, the anger had pretty much reared up and I was pissed! Because why had he done this if he had a girlfriend? There was no denying it, I'd been led on. And maybe he didn't even know he'd been doing it, but he made me feel as though he was interested. And I didn't imagine that. Talking about me with Toni and Jonny, being so nice to me about my flat, being shier around me than everyone else.

I didn't imagine it. But I didn't really have much time to dwell on it. Because what happened afterwards was pretty surreal as well. I wrote about it afterwards:

Unspeakable Thursday

On Thursday I truly believed that my heart was broken. But you know, the heart is a resilient organ. And mine is, apparently, no exception. For a mere seven minutes after I discovered my love life had truly hit rock bottom, HISTORY DUDE made an appearance. And HISTORY DUDE was sweet and kind to me in my hour of need.
And it’s like the old saying, when you’re not waiting for a bus, along come two!
Entering also into the mess that is my life the next day was TRAIN DUDE!

THE SHORT AND UNINTERESTING TALE OF HISTORY DUDE

(Scene: Karen has just slumped down in a seat on the third row of Mansfield Cooper Lecture Hall 2.1 after being devastated. She is cold, wet and unloved. And she also has to suffer through a Dr. Jerram lecture. Ouch. Life is a bitch.)
(Karen texts her ex-boyfriend Cal. Text reads: “I hate him!”)
(HISTORY DUDE shuffles down the third row and takes his seat near Karen.)
HISTORY DUDE: Here’s your handout.
Karen: Cheers.
(Silence falls. Karen fidgets and finally decides not to send the message. With a sigh she slips her phone in her pocket.)
HISTORY DUDE: You okay?
(Karen looks at HISTORY DUDE sharply. He is smiling, concernedly. Now is the time to mention Karen and HISTORY DUDE have met briefly before. He is not just a random stranger taking an interest.)
Karen: Yeah. I think so.
HISTORY DUDE: You look kinda… pissed.
Karen: Mm. Long story.
(HISTORY DUDE scoots up so he is sat next to Karen.)
HISTORY DUDE: I guess this is the last place you want to be.
Karen: I think everyone is feeling that way right now.
HISTORY DUDE: Not me. But I’m a freak of nature.
(Karen laughs. The sound is odd considering it is only minutes since she supposedly had her heart broken. How… WEIRD)
(Dr. Jerram enters looking bald and camp as always. Silence falls across the lecture hall. HISTORY DUDE catches Karen’s eye and smiles, supportively.)

I’m not gonna read anything into it. He was sweet. The end. The tale of TRAIN DUDE is less significant, involves me falling on my ass and swearing enough to shame a drunk sailor. Plus it’s way longer so I can’t remember all of it (despite my generally fabulous memory). As well as that, the chances of me ever seeing TRAIN DUDE ever again are slim, whereas I’ll see HISTORY DUDE again after reading week.

So, what happened with David, right? Oh Goddesses, the shame and humiliation is just too unbearable. Make some guesses or assumptions. Anything except that he’s gay. Because I happen to have EXCELLENT gaydar so that could never happen. I just cannot write (type) down what actually did happen. Because despite HISTORY DUDE and TRAIN DUDE, I’m not over it yet. In fact, it hasn’t really sunk in. Like I keep thinking about him and then I remember the events of Thursday and have to attempt to focus upon something else.

Love sucks. Really, it does.

Top 10 reasons it’s “tough to have a crush”:

1. It makes you nervous like all the time
2. It makes you even more aware of your single status
3. It makes you LOATHE all the things you originally didn’t like about yourself
4. You read too much meaning in songs
5. You have to look presentable at all times
6. IT DISTRACTS YOU IN STATE, NATION AND NATIONALISM LECTURE!
7. You bore your friends stupid a lot of the time about your crush
8. You say and do things that you will soon live to regret
9. You mix up your priorities
10. You DEVALUE the luxury of being single (it exists, honestly)

Ohmygosh, I’ve just realised that that OK Go song describes Unspeakable Thursday almost perfectly!!! Wowza! God, I’m so pathetic that OK Go have a song about how pathetic I am. *Sigh*

Well it’s tough to have a crush
When the boy doesn’t feel the same way you do
Well it’s tough to have a crush
When your best friend breaks the news

Perhaps you’ll find me feeling better in a day or two
But it’s tough to have a crush on you

Well it’s tough to have a crush
Who ever knew such hullabaloo?
Well it’s tough to have a crush
When it only leaves you blue

Perhaps they’ll find you in the river in a month or two
Well it’s tough, sometimes, to crush on you