Thursday, May 25, 2006

Final Access

I got some pretty good pictures of the last access and though they don't portray the fun that was our Tuesday dinner times, they're worth posting so I can look back and get all teary eyed. By the way, the dates on them are WRONG quite obviously. We can't figure out how to turn them off! Grr.

Krista and Jenny. Krista is, without a doubt, the happiest person I've ever met. And Jenny is my LFC homegirl, so she rules too!

Thomas Beal! Our access leader. He isn't wearing a hat, disappointingly. Ah well. He rocks.

Laura! Doesn't she look pretty? Just a warning, it's not a good idea to give her sugar. She may look innocent here, but add sugar and it's a totally different story.

Toni being crazy as usual. She was kinda high on cough syrup.

Some of the dudes chillin.

And finally my three fellow access leaders! This picture makes me think of the three wise men pointing at the star. Well, except for the wise part. And two of them aren't men.

I guess it isn't the same at all. Just three people pointing.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Time Is Running Out

I ONLY HAVE 4 MORE CLASSES IN COLLEGE. Yep, two today (Philosophy and English) then two tomorrow (History and Philosophy).
It's difficult to believe. I guess with everything that's been happening over the past couple of weeks with Ange's Dad and mock exams and The Argument, leaving has kinda been overshadowed. But here it is, as real as the nose on my face.

It feels weird, there's no denying it, but I'm kinda looking forward to it being over with and moving onto something new. Over the past few months college has become excruciating, like a waking dream with less possibilities.
Now I can get stuck into some hardcore revision on my own terms.

Top 10 things I'm gonna miss about college:

1. My mates
2. My classes
3. My crushes (not really plural, to be honest)
4. The bus in the morning
5. Playing cards at dinner time
6. Hanging in the computer room
7. Access
8. Interesting discussions in class
10. Being a fucking lazy student!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

FA Cup Final Day

Myself and my Father were discussing the romanticism of the FA cup. It's difficult to explain what separates the FA cup from, say, the carling cup or the Champions league. And we came to the conclusion that the FA cup is English through and through.

That might seem like an obvious statement, but if you are English yourself you realise that there is something more to being English merely than your nationality. It is something that we can't escape, no matter how far we travel or where we end up.

We are English. It's in our blood.

Not sure what's made me all patriotic all of a sudden. It's most likely post-hysteria from Liverpool winning the FA cup.

Top 10 reminders that you're English:

1. Complaining about the weather
2. Addiction to tea
3. Cynicism
4. Complaining. Period.
5. An incomprehensible need to tan
6. A love of fish and chips
7. Being tight with cash
8. Dunking biscuits
9. A very self-centred view of politics
10. Referring to Americans as 'yanks'

A stretch, I know. I reckon if you have around 4 or more there is a good chance you're English. I hate to break it to you.

Friday, May 12, 2006


Lately I'm beginning to understand the satisfaction of things being done and finished. It seems like my every wish revolves around something being done.

Top 10 things I want to be done with:

1. My feelings for David
2. My sudden bout of illness
3. My latest fanfiction story
4. Today
5. My philosophy synoptic (actually, I just finished that)
6. My exams
7. College
8. My church. I want to go somewhere else.
9. My Grecian Garden collages
10. My book, 'Uglies' by Scott Westerfeld (very good, by the way)

But do I really want to be done with some of these things? I tell myself I do. Like college. In the morning when I wake up, I can't wait to be done with college. When I'm in History class I'm wishing my time here away. When I get stressed in class or when I'm on my own on the bus, I just wish college was over.

But when I'm hanging with Krista and Catherine and they're making me laugh, I wish I could stay like that forever. When I'm at access and we're goofing around I never want to leave. When we gamble for sweets, when me and Naomi have an argument, when I see David I just want college to go on and on into a long, stretching eternity.

And church. Can I really leave that place? I know in my heart that there's something wrong with the place, talking to Krista only confirmed that. But I still love it. I still love the people and the memories it holds. Do I have the strength to start over somewhere else? Don't I owe that place something?

And David. I want so badly not to feel this way. But I obviously don't want it enough to stop thinking about him. And people are wrong, it is something you can switch on and off. It's just difficult to flick the switch.

See, done is a much more complex concept than it initially appears to be. Like when you tell yourself you're over someone, but you see them and suddenly it's just as it was. The hard part isn't ending it, but being sure that you have ended it.

So, is it really done?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

May Day

May Day holds a special place in my heart. If I haven't explained already, May Day has slowly developed into a day of tradition for me. The Tradition of watching Dawsons Creek in disgustingly comfortable clothes. It is quite heavenly.

I was enjoying my May Day, happily yelling at Dawson Leery and cooing at all the romantic bits... when a thought barracaded it's way into my head. The thought of History coursework.

However, I quickly dismissed this and got back to the sacred viewing. All too soon though, I had begun to panic about missing Psychology class on Friday and was wondering if I had fallen behind. This thought was not so easy to dispel, but I managed, after a struggle, and returned to Dawson and Joey.

I think we can all see where this is leading. Needless to say, May Day, one of my favourite days of the year, was tarnished by thoughts of college work and inevitably a certain increasingly distracting boy. And will this only continue through life? Is this the price I pay for seeking higher education? That I will never be able to watch classic teen drama without distraction?!

I am distraught.

Top 10 things to do in order to cheer yourself up the Tuesday after a relaxing bank holiday monday:

1. Eat a banana, they're good for you and will supply you with energy in bucketloads
2. Listen to good music
3. Have a good cleansing shower
4. Blog
5. Check your emails (a day without checking them will mean that they have probably PILED up!)
6. Write fanfiction to cheer up the masses!
7. Have a bitch about someone. I guarantee you'll feel great.
8. Have a bitch about Tom Beal. I give you permission.
9. Read other people's blogs. They will be experiencing the same melancholy as you in different degrees
10. Take a deep breath, rejoice in the day and the fact that you are alive (not seriously.)