Friday, July 29, 2005


I hath been awoken early by my brother's mate Farley. I could not sleep AT ALL last night because I was still so hyped up from InMe! For prosperity (and the sake of my memory), last night's setlist was:

Faster The Chase
You'll Get There
Crushed Like Fruit
Just A Glimpse
Lava Twilight

Woot! And now for the other going-ons of my life since my ethernet cable broke. Went to Manchester last week to get the new InMe singles and saw Cathcart in Afflecks. That was awesome, I'd missed her a lot. James has been at Two-Twenty without fail every week, looking hot as ever. He is SO cute. So very very cute. And he likes THIN LIZZY!

James rocks.

Now I've started typing crap about James I don't wanna spoil it by writing a lot of obscenities concerning Matt Wood.
So I'll leave that until I need to do it.

Top 10 things to do whilst on the toilet:

1. Think of twists for current storylines
2. Sing
3. Rant about the world
4. Pray
5. File your nails
6. Daydream about Dave/James
7. Write a list of things you have to do in your head
8. Relive some of your favourite memories
9. Decide what to have for lunch
10. Stretch


InMe. Duh.

I can't describe the entire night, all I can say is I WAS SO CLOSE TO DAVE MCPHERSON!!!!!

It's true. There was at one point merely one person between me and Dave McPherson (the man of my sleeping and waking dreams).

Top 10 things about the InMe gig 28/07/05

1. I was SOOOOOOOOOO close to Dave
2. I saw Dave sweating. A lot.
3. My best friend Vic finally went in her very first moshpit!
4. Dave grinned... AT ME!
5. Dave spoke in his gravelly essex accent
6. The sing along to 'Natural'. I KNOW!
7. Everyone singing along with 'Firefly'
8. Dave was wearing the famous 55 t-shirt!!!
9. They flattered the manchester crowd endlessly.
10. The cool merch guy! What an awesome dude!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Irony. What a bitchin' night of Irony.

So I don't seem to completely heartless, I'm gonna tell the obviously more important piece of information first.
A girl from my college died on the 11th of July in a car crash. Her name was Vicky Gaskell and she was 17 years old. I only found out yesterday after I'd wrote my blog about heaven. I choose not to look for anything within that coincidence. I didn't know her myself, though I know people who were close to her, but it's just... weird. I mean, this girl was totally ordinary, she liked sports, had plenty of friends, worked hard at college. What makes her any different from me (apart from the sports thing)? And the car crash wasn't like a drunk driving incident, it just happened. It just happened.
If I was her family I don't think that 'It just happened' would be much of a comfort to me.

Okay, moving on because I don't want to depress myself. Though I'm not sure if this topic is much better.
James showed up again last night. James showed up looking so irresistibly, perfectly cute (despite the blistering hot weather). And you know what? James happens to have the most incredible timing as he showed up on the perfect night to see me drenched in sweat with eyebrows like caterpillars and a huge t-shirt that (despite making me look huge) is the coolest thing to wear on a scorching day.

I don't think he saw me. Teardown was so hectic that I didn't have much time to hang out down at Two-Tuk. Plus it was Layla's (that's how you spell her name) last night and I don't think I'll ever see her again. I got her email address so we'll have to talk. She's so cool, I'm really gonna miss her.

On a brighter note teardown went awesome, as did set-up. We all ate super marshmallows and sour sweets. I got ten legend points off Aaron (this is a real compliment since Aaron is the coolest eleven year old in the entire universe), a hug off Tom West (second coolest eleven year old in the whole world) and a key from Serena. My key. It's so ludicrously special, I just can't describe it!

I have to see James next week. I refuse to accept that this was my second chance.
Good piece of news, my InMe tickets have just arrived!!! 15 days to go!!! Woot!

Top 10 things I hate about summer:

1. Sweating. It just sucks. And it doesn't cool you down!!!
2. Pollen. I don't have hayfever but some of my friends do.
3. Summer holidays. When you're on around your 6th week, they just get boring.
4. Sunburn. Nuff said.
5. Kids being off school. Now I'm not one of them, I hate them even more!
6. Midges.
7. Flies. Especially horse flies.
8. Feeling knackered even though you've done nothing.
9. Hot, sticky nights.
10. People with those stupid hand held battery operated fans. Get a life!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Sometimes when my thoughts are drifting throughout a whirlwind of categories, I will sometimes wonder what heaven is like. I'm sure everyone has heard the bible references, the whole paved with gold imagery and Jesus sat on the right hand side of God, but this doesn't tell us everything.

In 'Lucky' by Alice Sebold, the narrator of the story is in heaven after being raped and murdered. She describes heaven as being unique to each person. For example, her version of heaven is a school with only art lessons and a house with the perfect view of a magnificent sunset every night.

So if this is true, what would my version of heaven be like? I imagine it to be a festival, with all my favourite bands playing, and the whole collection of people I love hanging out on the grass, eating festival burgers. I guess my brother would be getting stoned, because that is how I remember him. My Mum would be reading her bible, drinking a gin and tonic and laughing with my Aunts. My Dad would be pottering around, gardening on the festival sight or driving me around in his old black cavalier.

But I somehow can't imagine heaven being as clear cut as this. I imagine there being principles for heaven such as there is no discrimination, or pain. Surely in a world with no discrimination or pain, it wouldn't matter whether you are at a festival, or in a castle or even in a school with only art classes.

I have plans for when I do get to heaven though. I can't wait to catch up with people, like relatives that have passed away and my Mother's good friend Patricia who I am named after. I'll be excited to meet relatives that passed away before I was born, because I am told they are a part of me, despite me never having met them. I also want to say something to Sonny out of P.O.D. That's my main priority for heaven, I've GOT to meet Sonny out of P.O.D. and thank him for making good christian music.

Top 10 things about heaven:

1. There will be no discrimination
2. Everyone will be happy all the time
3. We'll be able to watch our fave movies non-stop
4. It'll be like a never ending two-twenty
5. I'll get to meet P.O.D.
6. I'll be assured that my life has had a purpose
7. No pain, war or sadness
8. I'll never be lonely
9. Get to ask Big G some questions that have been on my mind
10. I'll have that feeling like when you work really hard at something and when it's done you get to stand back and admire what you've done.

Monday, July 11, 2005

I Hate My Brother

I hate my brother. A lot. I hate the double standards my parents have with us. I hate how if he does something he's just nagged for a while but if I do something my parents throw a fit and I'm deemed to be the spawn of satan.

Anyway. I went to the cinema with Christina, Lila, Catherine, Nat, Danny, Roy, Katt and Harry. Wow. That's a lot of people. Check it out! I'm popular! It was so much fun. We hung out in the Asda cafe for a while before we went to the cinema. Roy and Nat had a competition of how much crap they could stuff in a Sunny Delight bottle. And then Harry and Roy started competing over who could jump from a higher point on a flight of stairs (Roy won that one) and then when we reached the cinema the guys were swinging like monkeys from the veranda around the front of the cinema (Harry won, he jumped across the most bars).

The film was cool, I had my first experience of Hagen Daas cookies and cream ice-cream in a tiny pot and so did Lila. Christina chowed down on a pint of Hagen Daas Baileys ice-cream.
While we were in the cafe, Lila was trying to ask for some jaffa cakes, but since she doesn't speak very good english she had to mime what jelly was and we still didn't twig what she was on about for ages. I felt very stupid. Lila is very cool. There was this baby crying during the film and she went to me 'Do you want to learn a portugese word?' And I was like 'Sure'. She taught me the portugese word for 'shut up' (which I just can't remember) so that I could shout it as loud as I wanted and no-one would understand what I meant. I'm really gonna miss Lila, she's just so cool.

Overall, the afternoon was good. And I saw Thom Beale jumping up and down in church this morning. He looked okay again. I'm glad, I was worried about him.

Top 10 reasons why I hate my brother:

1. He is a poseur
2. He listens to some truly crap music
3. His girlfriend is a total bimbo which means I'm never gonna get those perfect nieces and nephews I've been dreaming of.
4. He drinks everything
5. He eats everything
6. He's allowed to run up a massive phone bill, but if I call Toni more than once a month I get a phone ban
7. He grows weed. I mean, HELLO, I have a good christian girl rep to maintain.
8. He gets narky when I phone home to get Dad to pick me up.
9. He gets water ALL OVER the bathroom floor.
10. He's so charming that he gets away with anything.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Leeds Nostalgia

I went to Leeds Festival for the first time in 2003 when I was just fifteen years old. It hadn't been planned. It was an impulse of Toni's after she'd loved our day at Download so much. We went that first year with Toni's Italian friends Sara and Iona.

That first year was just incredible. I remember getting into the festival site and seeing Kinesis straight away. We were so close to the front and we met a really cool girl, I just remember this feeling deep inside of me that this would be an awesome experience. And it was.

So much so that we returned last year, Myself, Toni, Iona and our school friend Heather along with Ste and Cathcart who were camping. And again it was incredible. My first experience of a muddy festival. Almost like a coming of age experience.

I pledged that first year that I would return every year, no matter what. Leeds Festival had found a place within my heart and there was no way of changing that.

Top 10 Leeds Memories

1. Running across the Leeds site to reach InMe who were already playing on the Main stage
2. Johnny Borell ripping off his shirt, causing many a camera to flash and many a heart to flutter
3. Ok Go's dance routine to C-C-C-cinnamon Lips
4. Davey Havok walking across the crowd
5. Dancing around to White Stripes in polythene rain macs
6. The Waltzer Whiplash experience after hours of queueing
7. The Darkness 'I'm hungry, bring me some meat'
8. Seeing Woodchuck (*sighs*) within my very first hour of the Leeds Festival Experience
9. Beck dancing
10. Melissa Auf Der Maur's crowd screaming

Blonde Ignorant Bimbo

Life is luxuriously dull when you have a couple of days off college. I've been on relax mode, chilling out and being ugly (since there is little need for personal hygiene when only your parents are subject to the hideous sight of you).

And that lasted around half an hour until Rob brought his girlfriend home.

Now it's not that I don't like her. It's just... she's so damn ignorant! I swear, she was living here for a week while my parents were away and I barely saw her. And she uses the shower about 5 times in the morning when I'm trying to de-toxify myself! AND she uses all my cleansing products! And giggles REALLY loud! And they used to keep me up all night (nuff said, ew!) before my parents came home anyway.

Let's just hope he doesn't marry this one.

Top 10 Greatest Songs made before July 7th 2005:

1. Sunburn - MUSE (greatest bar none!)
2. Debra- BECK
3. White Butterfly - InMe
4. Inbetween Days - THE CURE
5. Blamethrower - REUBEN
6. Pistola - INCUBUS
7. Tuna In The Brine - SILVERCHAIR
8. Optimistic - RADIOHEAD
9. Fat Lip - SUM 41
10. Party Hard - Andrew WK

Monday, July 04, 2005

24 Days

24 days until InMe! 24 days until InMe! And now Vicky might be coming with meeeeeeeeeee!

Sorry for that spontaneous singing. Only InMe can make me so delirious with happiness that I actually contemplate being CHEERFUL (*shudders*), it's a good job I love them.

I am waiting for Philosophy onst my lonesome. Nomey was here a second ago, but now she hath apparated. I am way too dreamy today and I should be depressed since it is now official, Josh is over me and has moved onto the perfect Miss Lara Lovemyself.

Maybe I am still a little mad about that. I could lie and say I worry that she isn't good enough for him, but even I would know that that is a total lie. The truth is, the attention from Josh (though bordering on obsessive) was... ( for want of a better word)... nice.

There... I've admitted it so I'll stop doing all those little dot dot dot things that are supposed to indicate intensity. Because they don't. They just make you look like you've wrote more. And going on about them means you have wrote more, but it's all crap so maybe it would have been better if you'd just stuck to writing nothing and then everyone would've been happy cos it's not like what you're writing is valuable...


Maybe I'm more than a little upset.
And Yipee, I get to go home and either: listen to Josh go on and on about Lara / hope Cal will call (even though that is IMPOSSIBLE) / watch cartoons and write meaningless crap.

Top 10 ways to figure out you're being stalked:

1. You keep receiving mysterious anonymous letters
2. You're getting prank phone calls despite your unlisted number
3. You continue to see movement within the shadows wherever you go
4. You feel a 'presence' within your room when you are sleeping
5. Someone is being unecessarily mean to you in college/school/work/jail
6. Your favourite song keeps playing somewhere in the distance
7. A person inexplicably changes everything about themselves to suit you
I'm getting the feeling this is just a list of stuff I did in the last couple of years of high school. Apart from the favourite song thing. Cos I didn't know whether it was 'Flesh into Gear' or something by the Deftones.
I didn't mean that. It was sarcasm. I hope.
8. You're receving nice gifts
9. The dentist was asked for a copy of your dental records by a person in a trenchcoat
10. The friends of a certain person snigger when you walk past

This list was just scary. No more meaningful lists for now.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


I have a job. Okay, nuff said about that.

I ended up being dragged to A&E by my Father and Grandmother because of the FUCKING BLISTER! 3 hours (whilst I could have been watching the women's semi-final, which was apparently an INCREDIBLE match) waiting just for some doctor to tell me (maybe not in these exact words) to piss off home because it's just a blister and my own doctor can handle it.
I was right. There was no friggin point going. And boy did I make my Dad pay!

So anyway. That was that. Maybe I should write more upbeat. My Mother is on the rampage though so there is no room for cheer in this household currently.

Top 10 creatures:

1. Giraffe - not only are they yellow, but they are skinny, tall and incredibly cool
2. Hamster - they're acrobats
3. Hedgehogs - I wish I could curl up into a spiky ball sometimes
4. Elephants - no contest, they have trunks and take mud baths
5. Bats - they're stylish, black is always in after all
6. Spiders - they're thoughtful, I mean they catch flies!!!
7. Ladybirds - Ditto, they eat greenfly
8. Squirrels - funky, shameless show-offs!
9. Dolphins - dolphins are like the Will Smith's of the animal kingdom, so undeniably cool
10. Otters - cos I like watching them eat fish. don't ask.